Part I.
I woke up in a cold sweat. I ran my hand down my chest and panted for breath. I looked to my left and saw that my bed was empty - save for my cat. He quietly meowed and looked up at me with loving eyes. Ah, my one true friend, always there by my side when I needed someone to hold.
I lightly stroked his fur as I looked over at my alarm clock. 5:24 am. God, how revolting. Waking up before the crack of noon is not a task that I enjoy. I stretched my arms and yawned silently as I was thinking of what today would bring. This was the day that my parents were shipping me out to an all-boys' academy. They seemed to have this idea that the Academy would cure me of my problems. I didn't think that I had any, but my parents disagreed.
I bent down to kiss my kitty gently on his head and then lay down to go back to sleep. Before I knew it, I was in a new land. Free from my bastard father. Free from my weak little mother. Away from the quaint ideas of their Baptist upbringing. I was floating in the air, free as a bird. My arms were outstretched as the wind tossed through my dark-brown hair. I occasionally had to close my eyes so they wouldn't be burned by the wind's incessant beating. I looked below me and saw a mountain as brown as the purest earth, and below that, a valley as green as a farmer's wildest fantasy.
I swooped down to this land. I wanted to be here. This is where I belong. As I swooped down, I saw a beautiful hand reaching out to me. It wanted me. I was not an outcast; I was one with this hand. I reached out, like God to Adam in the Sistine Chapel, and as our fingers met - Fire trucks whooshed by. I shook my head as my weary eyes opened and looked at my alarm. Damn. I had set my clock to awake me with the sound of the French police instead of the radio starting. Oh well. I stretched and turned off the alarm. My kitty was still by my side. I doubt he'd moved the entire night.
I stretched my legs and let out an audible yawn and my feet made contact with the ground. I stood up, my six-foot-three-inch frame still asleep. I clumsily walked over to the mirror and looked at myself. I winced. I hated looking at myself. I have always thought of myself as unattractive, and the morning cowlick did no good. I shook my head and grabbed a comb, trying to do something with my tufts of unruly hair.
After I had made some semblance of sanity with my hair, I decided to hit the shower. Today would be the day my life would change forever. I might as well face it with dignity. I put my comb back on my dresser and slowly walked to the bathroom.
I closed and locked the door behind me. Of course, before me was another mirror. Lovely. I shook my head and looked down at my boxers, my only article of clothing. I hooked my thumbs inside of them, parallel to my hips, and in one gracious moment slipped the boxers to my ankles. I noticed that beneath my thick, black pubic bush, I was becoming aroused. I don't know why. There certainly wasn't anything to be aroused about while alone in a bathroom. I laughed silently to myself and started the water for my shower.
The water was very cold at first, so I sat adjacent to the tub, waiting for the water to heat. As I lay there, I again saw the vision from my dream. My hand reached forward to become One with his, and as we touched, he pulled me to the ground. His fair hair danced in the wind. I wanted to look at his face, but it seemed almost as if it wasn't - God, that water was burning my hand. I pulled it away quickly and cooled the water, along with my hand. When the water was a humane temperature again, I started my shower.
I turned around as I stepped into the shower, and wet my hair. Droplets of water dripped onto my chest, causing my nipples to become erect. I looked down and noticed that my penis was yet again erect. As it was noted later to me, my chest was like a face, in a sick sort of way. My nickel size red nipples constituted the eyes. The hair that started between and around the nipples went down my chest and spread out, so that it made the illusion of a nose. And my "innie" belly button made the supposed mouth.
I looked at my raging erection and supposed that I should take care of it, lest it should cause me more grief as I was on my way to the Academy. I grabbed my prick and squeezed it gently while rubbing it up and down. I moaned softly to myself. With my other hand, I cupped my above-average size testicles and rubbed them. Then I began to viciously stroke my hard cock up and down while my other hand squeezed my nipples and rubbed my chest. I was breathing heavily at this point while the water splattered against my back. One of my greatest fantasies was being in the shower with a man I love dearly. I closed my eyes and pictured my fair-headed apparition as my hand squeezed my throbbing eight inch penis and stroked it faster and faster.
My goal was not to have a long masturbation session, but a quick one so I could finish what I needed to do. I imagined my fair-headed vision looking at me and kissing me lovingly on the lips, and then turning around to get on all fours. I imagined myself looking confused at him, and then grasping his plan as I grabbed his smooth ass and ran my hand over it. Then I spread him and slowly pressed myself into him - I moaned loudly as I ejaculated into the shower water, and down the drain. I kept jerking my penis as I ejaculated at least five spurts into the water. As I was panting and regaining consciousness, there was a loud knock on the door. "God damn it boy, we all gots to shower! Hurry your sorry queer ass up!" Soon after that, I heard the sound of feet stomping away. I smirked to myself thinking, my, how I love this family.
I soon finished my shower and dressed myself. I hauled out my suitcase as I prepared for the first real move in my life. Goodbye, friends. GOODBYE PARENTS!
Part II.
I groaned as I loaded the final suitcase into the back of the van. Now I know why moving men must hate their jobs. God, all that crap was heavy and clumsy. I slammed down the back door to the van and walked to the sliding door on the side. I opened it and felt the cool air-conditioning hit my sweat-plagued face. I let out a quiet sigh and was met with my father's gracious voice. "Get the hell in here, queer ass. You're wasting my gas and my freon!" I jumped into the van and shut the door.
Quietly, the van backed out of the driveway. I could feel it shift into drive and then gradually gain speed as it made its way onto the highway. I glanced at the van's clock. 11:53 am. Enough time to get me there by two and send me to the "counselor." I shook my head. How on earth did I get here?
It started just a month ago. I wasn't careful enough. My parents are devout Southern Baptists - why didn't I think? I had known that I was gay since who knows when. But in my home, you had to fit the standards. You had to be straight. You had to be a Baptist. You had to be republican. It's like that line from South Pacific's "You've Got To Be Carefully Taught," "...you've got to be taught before it's too late / Before you are six or seven or eight / To hate all the people your relatives hate..." All too fitting.
Needless to say, someone who was alternative like me would not fit into what my parents considered holy. One day while my father and I were in this very van, I decided to blurt out, "I'm gay, you know." I don't think it was taken very well. They took me to a therapist, hoping to cure my ailments. After a few months of this, they found the results to be ineffective. I believe it also had to do with spreading rumors in our town. So they decided to send me to the "most prestigious boys' school in North America," the Glenville Shaw Academy For Boys.
I looked out the window and watched the deforestation of America pass me by. Miles and miles of chain-link fences with signs of poor grammar and spelling, letting all trespassers know that their presence would cause a mêlée. I guess it is over. My secret is out, and now I am to be punished for being me. Not that I should expect less from my wonderful parents.
"Now listen here, queenie. They gots counselors at this school, so they'll fix you right up. Make you like the rest of them straight-A kids at the Academy," my father said, interrupting my daydream.
"It's too bad they don't have speech therapists." I mumbled. My father turned around to face me, almost hitting a car. He swerved out of the other car's lane, honked at them for being in his way, and continued on even more gracefully so by flipping the other driver off.
"What the hell you say, boy?" He glared at me, showing me that he was the "man."
"Nothing, sir," I replied. Bastard.
I sat there in silence thereafter, thinking about the peace and quiet the Academy would afford me. Serenity... what a perfect thought. I closed my eyes and slept as the sand drifted down the hourglass of time. I opened my eyes to see new scenery. The earth was a purer reddish brown; the grass greener. I noticed that father had turned off the air-conditioning and had the windows open. I inhaled a deep breath of air. I could smell it. Freedom. In a blink, we were before the gates of the Academy.
The metal of the gates was designed in a Renaissance fashion, curling artfully until it was no more. The clean forest green color seemed to accentuate the Academy's illustrious beauty. My father was leaning out his window and speaking to a guardsman. He soon sat upright in his chair again. Silently and gracefully, the gates opened, and my father drove the van over the clear-black pavement.
My father followed the path quickly. He wanted to be rid of me; I could sense it. How one could hate their own child so is beyond me. I looked out my window to the right and saw the cardinal-red brick of the student dormitories. The dormitories were three stories tall, and had windows so clear that they reflected the afternoon sun too perfectly, and were hurting my eyes. I squinted my eyes as I saw a group of boys huddled together, sharing a joke or secret together. About twenty feet from them was a black woman of medium height standing in front of something. I saw a cane shoot out from the side of her. I smiled to myself as I felt the van pull into a driveway.
The van stopped, and I heard the death of the van's sputtering as my father turned off the ignition. Soon sounded the familiar click! of the back door of the van. I opened the sliding door and jumped out. As I jumped out, I met face-to-face with what I swore was a mortician. "Good afternoon, young man, and welcome to the Academy," he said, in an almost dramatic fashion, his right hand stretching out and pointing to it. His voice sounded like Sir Richard Attenborough saying, "Welcome to Jurassic Park" without the English accent. The old man smiled a goofy smile and said, "I am the dean here. My name is Dennis Mordrin. And yours is?" I told him my name and he smiled, looking at my father. "Well Mr. Dowling," Mr. Mordrin said to my father, "I am sure your son will enjoy his time here. Now, let's get him unpacked."
I unloaded all of my things from the van, and my father zoomed off into the sunset. Mr. Mordrin laughed to himself, shaking his head, and took me to my room. My room was on the third story of the dormitory that my father had parked beside; it was small, but livable. Mr. Mordrin watched as I made my bed. When I was done, I put my comforter on top of it and sat down. All that was missing was my kitty. I smiled and wished he was here now. I looked up, and Mr. Mordrin was still standing in the doorway. His face wrinkled even more as he cracked a painful smile. "You've missed lunch," he said, breaking the silence, "and your class schedule will be posted outside your door tomorrow morning..." he trailed off.
I looked at him curiously. What did he want? Mr. Mordrin's old brown eyes seemed to have a spark go off in them as he recalled his thought. "..it will be there in the morning, so you have the rest of the day to yourself. And remember, my office is always welcome to willing visitors. If you want to talk.. I'm there." He smiled, and turned to leave, but stayed there a moment longer before finally leaving. He seemed to have something on his mind, but was afraid to say it. I shook my head, emptying this odd exchange from my head, and proceeded to unpack my things.
After the room was unpacked, I lay down on the bed with a satisfied smile. Here I was in my new home, and it was me. I had unpacked my computer and books, and had put my CD of Mendelssohn's Songs Without Words into my CD-ROM drive. The melody silently sang to me as I rested. I was again in that strange land of my dreams. My fair-headed apparition was skipping away into a Roman-style building, beckoning for me to follow. I followed him, and we ran into a room accented by an enormous fountain. It seemed to go up and up; its peak hit the ceiling. I took his hand, and we ran under the fountain.
I gasped as I awoke. God, I always wake up when it gets good! I shook my head and stood up, looking at my alarm clock. 3:52 p.m. Had I been here that short of a time? I opened my door and walked into the hallway. A doorway on the end of my hall was ajar, and I saw light emitting from it. I slowly crept to the door and peaked in. I am not usually a voyeur, but on my previous look at this hallway, I thought I was the only one here. I looked in and could clearly see everything...
A tall, medium built boy, wearing an athletic T-shirt and tight-fitting yellow soccer shorts with a green band on the bottom, sat on a bed next to a young, quiet, but very cute boy. "I thought you wanted to study Biology, Tommy," the young boy said, looking at the more heavily built one. Tommy looked at his young friend and grinned, unbuttoning the boy's striped polo shirt. "Jamie, I do. But I won't need books for it," Tommy said, winking.
"Why are we even in this old room? They never use this floor anymore... except for special kids.. or kids who are thrown in at the last minute," Jamie interjected.
"Exactly," said Tommy. "I'm going to give you something now, Jamie. Something many have dreamed of... but few have had." Tommy slowly stripped off his T-shirt, showing off his muscles to Jamie. Jamie merely slip back further on the bed that they were occupying and gasped. He unconsciously spread his legs. "Do you want me, Jamie?" teased Tommy. "Do you want this?" Tommy continued, indicating his crotch. Jamie merely whispered Tommy's name in reply. Tommy pulled off Jamie's shirt, reveling a skinny frame, which didn't seem to bother Tommy in the least. He removed Jamie's shorts and bent down to Jamie's ear, whispering, "Fuck me!" Tommy then embraced Jamie and thrust his tongue down Jamie's throat. Jamie held Tommy tighter, and his seemingly experienced hands found their way to his muscular friend's bottom, and he squeezed. Tommy ended the kiss and turned around, almost ripping off his shorts.
Jamie moved behind Tommy and spread his jock ass. His pressed his finger in, and thrust his hips forwards. Jamie leaned forward and squeezed Tommy's pectoral muscles as he thrust himself into Tommy. Tommy panted in pleasure and said, "You are as big as I thought." Jamie moaned in response.
I pulled my face from the door. This is a very interesting school indeed. I crept back to my room and decided to relieve my throbbing penis before I made them aware of my presence. I couldn't wait until tomorrow.
Part III.
Apparently, Mr. Dennis Mordrin couldn't wait until morning to give me my schedule. Around 7 p.m., he burst into the room, wearing a pastel suit. It certainly wasn't his color, and he looked like he had teleported directly from the seventies. I shut down my computer and turned to greet him. "Why Mr. Mordrin..." I started, but was cut off.
"Call me Dennis," he said cheerfully. He stared deeply into my eyes. It was as if he were searching my soul for some beacon, and my eyes were the key. His mud-brown eyes momentarily shifted to the carpetless floor and then met my blue eyes again. "You haven't had dinner," he stated rather than asked, "So you must join me." He removed his pastel blue sportcoat. He caught me looking at it. "It's not quite me, is it?" he asked, cackling. I said nothing, but looked the other way. "Anyway," he said, "let's get to it!" I stood up and followed him out the door.
He picked up something leaning against the doorframe which I had not noticed earlier. It was a dark-brown cane. I noticed that it had two grooves on it, as if something were to fit inside of it. He looked at me and smiled as I begrudgingly followed him out the door. We walked down the stairs of the dorm and out the door. As we walked out, the crickets softly chirped their sweet nighttime song. We walked through the same parking lot that spelled my earlier freedom, I heard a voice in the darkness call out, "Lara!" I tried to find out where this voice came from, but Mordrin tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to his car.
I sighed, shrugged and followed him to his black, rusty Dodge Shadow. I got into the passenger side seat as he started the car. We went to a local Italian restaurant and ate a quiet dinner. All throughout the meal, he kept looking deep into my eyes, as if he were searching for something that wasn't there. His pudgy wrinkled fingers came dangerously close to my own on more than one occasion. I just laughed nervously when he did so.
After about an hour of supping, Dennis, as he asked me to call him, smiled and started to speak. "So tell me, my young friend... why have you applied here in the middle of the semester?" His chubby fingers folded together, like a bird of prey moments from attacking its victim.
"My father thought is best," I quickly replied. Dennis laughed to himself and nodded. "I see. But why now.. and here? You live over a hundred miles away, don't you?"
"Yes, I do, sir. But he chose The Academy because it is one of the best."
"And didn't you have any part in this decision?"
I exhaled softly and said, "Not really."
"Ah, I see," he said, hesitating. "You see, here we like to.. make men out of boys." His pudgy snow white hands were sliding towards my own.
"You know, Mr. Mordrin," I said, my hands sliding away from his, "it's getting late. I should get to bed. I wouldn't want to be late for my first day of class."
"No," he said, smirking, "that would be a pity if you were tardy." I looked into his eyes and no longer saw anything human in them. He seemed to be the eyes of a hunter moments from its prey. "But.. surely you could come to my private office for a nice.. chat." My eyes widened with concern. Why was he doing this? Suddenly, his pager loudly chirped its incessant beep. He seemed to break out of his trance, the human intelligence returning to his eyes. "So, can I go back to my room, now?" I asked pleadingly. He agreed, and we returned to his Dodge Shadow. The next day, my alarm went off at 6:30 am. I got up, bathed in my vacant shower, and went off to class.
My morning classes were uneventful. First was English. Of course. We can't have a "wake up" class in the morning; no. We have to jump right into Honors English. FUN FUN FUN! Honestly though, English is a relatively simple class for me. Grammar comes quite naturally to me. I'm not perfect: I will admit that any day. But I am fairly good at it. Next came Geometry. I have no comment whatsoever about that. Finally, there was Speech. Oh, le joie de vivre. My teacher was one who loves to hear herself talk. She had a slight rasp in her voice. As the class was nearing its end, her voice was still trailing on. Her voice was very irritating, too. Her attitude screamed Giant Bitch! and when she spoke I just wish she'd clear her throat so she could speak normally. God.
"And so, you will be doing five total speeches in this class: one panel discussion, one informative, one inspirational, one persuasive, and one group review. It's going to be fun.. Well, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm the most difficult speech teacher in this school, and I'm going to make your lives hell." She glanced at her watch and continued, "Well, that's all the time we have. Have a pleasant afternoon. You'll need it." We wearily exited the class and went outside, as it was almost noon, which is lunchtime.
The high clock struck noon. The sun was gently dripping its rays upon my skin. It was a gorgeous day, and I felt no pangs of hunger, yet some strange force was driving me towards the cafeteria. Even though I had no idea where it was, the hundreds of bodies walking like sheep being herded to pasture gave me a slight clue. I waited in line for my lunch, and made my way to the tables. This is one thing I hate about new places - you know no one, so you're not likely to find a seat. I passed by an average-looking guy who looked somewhat familiar. He put his hand on my shoulder. I knew it instantly - very friendly, but a jock nonetheless. He smiled at me kindly. "So you're the new guy," he started, rather than asking. I smiled bashfully and admitted to my horrid crime, telling him my name.
"Well Ben," he said, "welcome to Shaw Academy. My name's Tommy, by the way." He graciously permitted me to sit next to him. I wasn't shocked to see his friends wearing blazers with the letters GSA, Glenville Shaw Academy, on them. A soft voice behind us said, "See you later, Tommy." Tommy replied, "Yeah. Later, Jamie."
As my newfound friend began to socialize with his little clique, my eyes shot to the far corner of the room. Two tables were occupied, but all tables surrounding them were vacant. How odd, I thought.
My friend awoke me by mentioning my name. I looked at him and noticed that he and his friends were staring at me. "So this is the new dude." He smiled kindly, and started pointing around the table. "This is Dan Vishosone. He's center of the football team." Dan has light-brown hair, and a thin, slanted nose. I know little of football, but his medium-built body seemed unfit for his sport. He had a few pimples here and there, but looked relatively healthy. I looked into his dark-brown eyes and saw a rage, a fire that seemingly had no spark. Looking at him make me feel uncomfortable.
Part IV.
After he had finished introducing me to everyone, Tommy and his friends began to converse with each other, forgetting me. I quickly finished my meal, disposed of what was left, and walked over to the vacant part of the cafeteria. An African American woman with shoulder-length hair that curled at the very bottom passed by me, whistling a happy tune.
As I approached the vacant tables, I realized why they were so. This was where the "special needs" students sat. Being ostracized was not an unfamiliar social condition for me. There were two tables for the special needs students. To the left was a chubby boy in a wheel chair. His hair was black and curly, and his square-framed glasses kept slipping down his sweaty, pudgy nose. His helper said, "Now Mike, you've had enough food. You know your parents want you to lose weight." Mike looked at his helper with pure loathing hatred in his eyes and stuck up his middle finger at her. She just sighed and shook her head.
To the right was another table. Apparently, the helper was missing from this table. I looked on to see the most beautiful face I had ever seen. But I didn't understand why he was in the special needs area. He was perfect. He was my vision of Adonis.. the man from my dreams.. but with red hair instead of the fair-blonde I had seen. His hair was bright, clean and smooth. Its color was the example by which hair stylists should use when dying hair. It was absolutely gorgeous. I wanted to run my fingers through its silky texture and breathe it in. His nose was long, but not too long, and thin, but not too thin. And his lips... they were sensual. They were built to be kissed. His face was smooth oval, perfect in every detail.
I let out an audible sigh, and he turned around. Damn. Caught red-handed. He folded his arms, and said in a crisp British accent, "Well, stop gawking so and step forward. Say what you are going to say and be done with it." God, everything about him was so wonderful. And that accent... just gorgeous. "Well, what do you want," he asked in a very irritated voice.
I stammered, "I.. I ... I just saw you across the cafeteria.."
"Thanks for sharing," he interrupted.
"And I wanted to say hello." I paused, and he sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, ok? I'm just new here, and I was looking around..."
"And you just happened to stare at the circus midgets over here?" He sighed again and said, "I've lived most of my life like this, so I could care less. But I don't need people like you to point out my problems. I really, really hate people like you." I winced. "Your sword dipped in honey still cuts. Now go back to your friends and.. laugh, laugh, laugh!" I thought I was going to die. I had committed some mortal crime that I didn't know of. What had I done to him? Suddenly, the African American woman that I had seen earlier ran up to this Adonis. She looked at me accusingly and turned back to him.
"Devon, are you all right?" she asked, panicked. Devon stood up, his gorgeous hair reflecting in the light.
"I'm just dandy. I think I've been a freak show here long enough, though. Give me my stick." She handed him a stick with white tape curling around it. They left together. I swallowed my breath, and gasped as I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, Dowling.. Ben.. what are you doing over here?" I turned to look at Tommy's ever-pleasant face. I looked at him and shrugged. "Just checking the place out," I replied.
"Well the freak show isn't much to check out. Come back with us.. There's still about ten minutes. Oh yeah.. where's your dorm?"
"Oh, it's the third floor of the Snyder building," I said. Tommy's face turned white.
"The... third... floor?" he asked, looking very scared. "Were you there... last.. night?" I had to stop myself from giggling.
"Why, did I miss something? A social activity or something?" I asked, straightfaced. Tommy just shook his head.
"Let's get back to the table...." A few minutes later, the bell rang, and the sheep were again herded out to pasture.
Part V.
After lunch, I had World History. I sat in the middle of class. As I got there, I looked toward the back of the class. There in the last seat was what looked like a 14 year old boy. However, I could tell that he was older than that: his face had several untidy whiskers sprouting out everywhere. He noticed me looking at him and started yelling at me. "What the hell is your problem? What are you looking at?" He then sighed, saying, "Jesus Christ." I noticed that Tommy shared this class with me. He came over near my seat and laughed.
"Don't worry about him," Tommy said. "That's Anthony... pure Italian. And the A in his name is for attitude. Basically, his dad left his mom after 20 years or something, and is bangin' some Jewish chick."
"Fuck you, asshole!" Anthony exclaimed.
"And how is Torah girl?" Tommy teased.
"God damn asshole!" Anthony got up and looked like he was about to instigate a fight, but decided to sit down. What a fight it would have been. Tommy was tall and had a medium build, while Anthony was about 5'8" and 120 pounds. I shook my head and smiled as the teacher walked in. The teacher was about my height - 6'3". He was of average weight. He had dark-brown hair and an unending smile. He just screamed le joie de vivre! He couldn't have been much older than I; perhaps he was in his late twenties or early thirties.
"Well class," he said as he set his briefcase on his desk, "it seems as though we have a new face." He was looking at me. God, he wanted me to introduce myself. I hate doing that. I sighed in embarrassment. He motioned me to stand up. I shook my head and did so. "Tell us about yourself."
"Well, my name is Ben Dowling. And I transferred here last night. I'm seventeen." I shrugged in disinterest and sat down. The teacher nodded as men do when they are too lazy to just say "hello" or "fine." I hate that! The teacher continued the class. William the Conqueror. The Battle of Hastings. Blah blah blah. Sands slowly sifted through the hourglass of time. Minutes before class ended, I noticed a short blonde-headed boy leaning against the doorway. The teacher noticed him. "What do you want, Jamie?" he asked, irritated.
"Sorry, Mr. Jakles. I just was waiting for.." he glanced at Tommy, and paused. "..waiting for someone." Mr. Jackles shook his head and smiled.
"Kids," was all he said. At that moment, the bell rang. We exited from class. Tommy was behind me and about to join his jock friends as I stopped him. Before me was my Adonis. He stood in the hall. He seemed to be stumbling forward, as he swung his stick around himself in a circular motion continually. Next to him was a black woman. She seemed to be attempting to help him, but it was obvious that he would have none of that. She persisted, though. Something occurred to me as I stared at this gift from above: he was blind.
"Tommy.. who is that?" I asked, not hiding the love in my voice very well.
"What, the freak? That's Devon, the blind mouse.. heh.. And Lara, indentured servant." I watched Devon a little longer, and the next thing I knew, Tommy had run off. I smiled and went back to my dorm, as my classes were done for the day.
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(as told by Devon)
Lara was being such a pain in the ass. I know, I know. I couldn't make it without her. She's always helping me, but since I'd come to realize that I was gay, she'd become even more to me. But who would want some blind freak? Gay, straight, whatever. I guess that's why my parents put me here. They didn't want to deal with some burden. Well, maybe Lara wasn't really being a pain in the ass. Maybe it was just because I was upset over that voice. I don't know why I get so upset. It's not like being ridiculed was something new. It happens everyday. I guess if the voice were some cruel, soulless being, I wouldn't mind. But the voice was so soft and kind. It almost sounded sincere. But who would want a blind circus freak like me? Of course when you're compared with Mike, that spoiled little fat fuck... I would call myself a freak. Oh well. It was another day at Glenville Shaw.
Another day with my teachers treating me like a frigging porcelain doll. As if Lara wasn't enough! But a strange event happened in my advanced Braille class. Mr. Mordrin, that disturbing principal came in. I could hear his cane approaching. It really disturbs me when I think about that cane. He probably has a belt inside it. That's what it sounds like.. moving from side to side, just waiting for a victim. So he came in and told me to avoid strangers. The nerve!
So anyway, I had finished my Braille class and was walking down the hallway. All I could hear was noise. Thousands of pointless conversations. Feet running, people blowing their noses, people belching as loudly as possible for attention, lockers clicking open, and people banging them when they wouldn't open... it was a cacophony. Lara was trying to grab my arm so she could guide me through the hall - as if I were some sort of lost lamb! Hmph! I may be blind, but I'm not helpless! But she never listens. I think she descended directly from Rosa Parks: she won't take no for an answer. Suddenly, I hear her gasp. I asked her what the problem is. She says, "It's that boy... and he's staring at you." I had by this time lost interest in him in particular, but had become moody overall. But I decided to placate her, so I asked what he looked like. Fat no doubt... a fat jock who plays football and listens to acid rock and drinks Friday, pukes Saturday. But her response was quite different. "Well... he is tall... you're what, five-foot-nine?" Offended, I reminded her that I was exactly five feet and ten and one-half inches. She laughed, excusing herself. You could never really be mad at that woman. No, that would be too easy! "Well, Mr. Five Foot Ten and a half, he's about six feet.. no, taller... but he's a scrawny fellow.. like you, but without the biceps.. And he's got big feet.. you know what THAT means!" She jabbed me jokingly. I told her that it meant he has big shoes. "That too. It also means he is way hun.. ummm... never mind. Damn, boy. I think he has it for you or something."
"Stop teasing me!" I said. I hated it when she joked like that. And that description didn't sound bad. It's times like these that I wish I could see again.. just to know what he looked like. I wanted to experience it myself, not through someone else. But that day will never come. Anyway, I went back to my room... third floor (freak floor, that is!) in the Andrews Building. I rested for a while.
Later, I got up and made my way to the computer. I sat down, and spoke into the microphone: "Time." The computer read out "Six - Fifty - Five." Great. I decided to walk out to the lake and sit in the loveseat. I liked to sit by the lake and feel the breeze on my legs and listen to the swans honk and jump into the water. Such a pleasant sound.
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Devon's soft red hair shone in the moonlight. He was sitting in a redwood love seat suspended in the air by a thick chain. Behind him was a placid pond with a few Canadian Geese swimming to and fro while the crickets sang their sweet melody. I stopped a few feet from where he was sitting and noticed that Lara was nowhere to be found. His walking stick was lying on the wet grass. He shifted his weight and said, "Well, what do you want?"
I sat down next to him. I looked at his beautiful face and smiled. "I'm sorry about earlier," I said.
"I thought it was you. And I'm... I'm sorry too, I guess."
I sighed softly and looked at the scenery. "It's a lovely night."
"I wouldn't know," he coldly replied. I winced at his retort. I squeezed my eyes together, fighting the tears. We sat in silence for what seemed hours. Devon cleared his throat and said, "I wasn't born this way, you know. As a child I was able to see the colors of earth - the autumn brown and gold, the spring's green, the winter's white. And the pale blue sky - going on and on forever, letting you know how infinitesimally small you really are. I can vaguely see the sunset in my mind - the gorgeous pink fading through the horizon. But things got fuzzier and fuzzier. My father tried glasses of all types, but they did no good. Later, I could only make out shapes, and later, just shadows. But then it became all black. My day is night. Can you - can you imagine what it's like to have everything - to have the perfect gift, the gift of sight - and then to lose it all?"
I wiped the tears away and brushed my hand over his. "I can't imagine it, but I would trade my sight for yours. Because I know that I don't want to live my life without you. Devon," I stopped. I couldn't say it. I watched his hand slowly run itself around my waist, his fingers running up my body, brushing past my erect nipples, and down again.
"Lara was right. You are slender." I laughed. "She does tend to tease me, you see. Suddenly, we heard the geese caw and fly away. I turned around to see Mr. Mordrin staring at us.
"What are you doing here?" he angrily inquired. Devon decided to tell Mr. Mordrin exactly what we were doing there.
"Let me see. It's a nice night. I am on campus at a school and I decided to sit on a bench after my school hours, which is my right to do.. correct? So I am enjoying myself for once. What are you doing here is more appropriate. Don't you have to go home... to your family?" Mordrin just folded his arms.
"My.. My car broke down." I smirked. A Dodge Shadow. Figures. "Well where is that nigger bitch of yours?" Mordrin added.
"Ah, if only Rev. Jackson and the NAACP were here!" laughed Devon. "But that is none of my business. I'm sure the KKK runs strong in your blood." Devon got up. "I shall go to bed now. I guess I will speak to you later.... Umm, what is your name?"
"Ben." I replied, watching him walk off. Mordrin just stared at me.
"We have rules here, young man. And new or not, you are expected to obey." he said sternly.
"So when is lights out?" I asked him.
"9:30 pm. And the time is," he said dramatically, pulling out his watch, "7:38.. well, it doesn't matter! That's no excuse for your rudeness!"
"Well, I shall go to bed immediately and torment you no longer," I said, excusing myself as I went to my dorm.
Part VI.
(as told by Devon)
"Lara, Lara," I excitedly called into my computer's microphone, "You wouldn't believe it! I can barely believe it!"
"What... who..." Lara sleepily mumbled, "Who is this? Wait.. Devon?" I smiled and assured her that it was, in fact, me. "And why is your British ass calling me at home? You KNOW this is just for emergencies." I sighed softly. "Boy, what is wrong? Are you in trouble? Look... I'll be there in a few min-"
"No, Lara," I said, "It's... him." Lara gave me a concerned gasp. "No, nothing bad. I was just... I was out on the loveseat.. And he joined me."
"You interrupted my nap, which I NEED after hauling your Irish ass around all day.."
"Wait," I interrupted, "I though it was British." I started laughing happily. "You know that I am an American citizen," I happily reminded her. "Anyway, he sat next to me... and he actually spoke with me. Me, the freak. And.... we..."
"Had a conversation?"
"Well, yes. We had... a conversation." The words flowed through my mouth. I sounded like a teenage girl referring to her favorite boy band member. Pathetic.
"Damn, boy," she exclaimed, "You got it BAD! But let me cook myself some supper. You can make me vomit with detail tomorrow."
"Mordrin found us, though."
"Found you what? You doing the nasty after the FIRST day?!"
"The nasty? No, we were just conversing. But Mordrin was behind us. And he screamed at us for some reason. I gave him what-for, though."
"Devon," she said, accusingly.
"Well, go cook dinner. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Yeah, see you then," she said. I made an audible hmph! at her as I had the computer disconnect.
****************************************
After escaping the evil clutches of Mordrin, or "Dennis," I decided to take a walk; away from him. God, I was so stupid. I almost destroyed myself. I guess I'm a sucker for a beautiful face... And what a face! But I still was in the clouds. I almost told him that I loved him. I shook my head. Well, I might as well go to my dorm. I returned there to see a light on at the third floor. I shook my head and entered it. I walked up the stairs to be greeted by the musical sounds of squeaking bedsprings and moaning boys.
"Yes, Jamie! YES! Put it in me! Put that big dick in me," screamed Tommy. I almost fell to floor from laughing hysterically. Tommy sure was one horny guy. The bed stopped squeaking momentarily as Jamie said in a hushed tone, "Shhh! Tommy, that new kid will hear us!"
"Who, Ben? He's out exploring the place, baby.. Please.. give it to me. I need it." The squeaking soon continued. I just shook my head, opening the door to my room and closing it behind me. After about ten minutes, Tommy and Jamie had a simultaneous orgasm, accompanied with loud moaning and calling out, "Oh baby, I'm cumming." I snickered to myself. Those two were like rabbits.
I threw my books and other paraphernalia onto the floor and closed my eyes. What could it be like to be blind, to have no idea where you are going? I squeezed my eyes together tightly, shutting out all possible light, and walked forward a few steps. No problem, I thought. I confidently strode forward and almost crashed into my computer's monitor. Hmmm... this isn't easy. I opened my eyes and sat on my bed. I wearily covered my face with my hands and wondered what I had gotten myself into. Just a short while ago, I was at home, resting with my kitty. Now I was at Glenville Shaw Academy, hopelessly... was I? No, I couldn't be.. But I must be... What other word could explain this feeling? This need, this unending hunger for another? Lust? No, it was more than that. If it was just lust, I would have come to my senses. No, it was something much deeper: Love.
But I can't fall in love... No, not like this. It's not supposed to be like this. The man that I love is supposed to be perfect. Every feature exactly as I had it planned. The perfect smile, the perfect eyes. Smart, witty, strong, sensitive, sexy, faithful.. And dammit, 20/20 vision!! I massaged my temples with the frustration and madness that I was enduring. I walked over to the mirror, looking at my sad reflection.
An empty being stared back at me. I was only half. Half of a man. Without another to have me and to complete me, I was nothing. I felt so empty.. so... lonely. I had a thirst that only Devon could quench. But this was a fountain that I was forbidden to touch. And the last thing that I needed at a new school was to be shoved out of the closet. Sure, I could pull Tommy out with me, but what would that accomplish? How could causing him anguish aid me in any possible way? It seemed as though I had two possible choices: I could tell Devon that I loved him and live a life of hell and torment, or I could just stay away from him and survive. There will always be another, right? Anyway, he's an outcast as it is. Just talking to him puts me on the cliff, which will too soon break, plunging me into the depths of ostracism. As long as I don't look at him, at his gorgeous face, his beautiful hair... No. I won't. I'm going to stay alive. I'm going to survive.
No, I'm not going to be a love-sick animal ready to be stoned. I will survive!
Part VII.
(As told by Devon)
Men! I just don't get them.. even though I am one. The day started off wonderfully. I was walking on air, as they say. Lara came in earlier than usual. Luckily, I was already dressed. I could sense an air of concern in her voice as I rattled on and on about the voice.. Ben. Ben Gay.. I giggled to myself when I thought of that one. I could sense Lara just shaking her head at me. Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to have one of those dogs. At least they don't talk back! Of course, Lara was a very good woman. She raised herself from her humble beginnings and now had the auspicious title of slave to Devon. Ha. At least, that's what she called her profession!
God, I can't believe Mordrin said that last night... unbelievable! I repeated what he said to her, and she just paused for a moment. A little later she said, "Well, he probably didn't mean it." Didn't mean it!! God damn it, how can you say something like that and NOT mean it! But she was a strong woman. She could take a lot. So after our morning "chat," we started going to our classes. It's funny now that I think of it.. How did I get back to my room last night without Lara to guide me? Strange.
Anyway, we went to my first class. I was restless through the whole thing. After that class let out, Lara and I were walking through the halls. That's the one nice thing about being a freak: people avoid you like the plague. As if my touch would take their sight!! Fools.
I was being a real pest. I kept excitedly asking her things. "It's too bad you didn't act like this is class!" she said. I felt my face grow warm. I wonder what a blush really looks like. Suddenly, a thought came to my mind. I asked her excitedly, "Is he here? Is he here?"
"Damn boy," she exclaimed, "get off me! You're like a hyena after its prey!"
"Well," I impatiently asked, "is he there or not?"
Lara was being wicked and decided to torture me. She gave me a twenty second pause and then said, "Well, I think he's over there..."
"Oh Lara, Lara.. I need to speak to him!" She started to laugh at me.
Suddenly, her tone grew serious. I felt her put her warm hands on my face, squeezing my cheeks. "Now listen boy. You are like a son to me. And I care about you. And I don't want to see your whiny British ass getting hurt."
I smiled, and I think a tear started to trickle down my cheek. "Lara, look at me. I'm a freak. No one has any interest in me at all.. except for him. He's my only chance, Lara. My only chance of ever being loved. Please, Lara. Please. Bring him over here." Tears started to freely flow down my cheek. "I'm tired of being alone, Lara. I need someone else..."
"Damn it boy, you're only sixteen!"
"..And three quarters," I corrected. "But please, Lara. No one has ever chosen to speak to me. I have a feeling that he is.." I trailed off and continued, "Please Lara. Do it for me."
"I don't know why I'm such a sucker for you damn red heads. Well.. not any red head. Just you damn blind red heads that I try to care and you just JUMP into the damn street with a car coming.."
"Lara," I said impatiently, "just get him." Lara gave an exasperated sigh as I heard her high heels click on the marble floor. Lara walked over to where Ben was. This is how she related their conversation to me:
"Ben," she stated rather than asked. He looked up at her.
"Yeah?" he asked, looking back down.
"Devon would like to talk to you. I assume you know who he is, right?"
"Yeah," he replied. "I know him. But I can't come over. I have.. class." And with that, he ran off. Lara walked over to me and said, "Well don't worry. We have to get to class anyway." I just stood there a moment and said, "I see." Then we went to class.
Later that day, I asked Lara, "Could we... eat in the dorm today?" She acquiesced, and she guided me to my room.
As we ate, I was audibly upset. She told me to spill it. I could have easily come up with some witty repartee, but I wasn't in the mood. I started weeping loudly. "Lara, I'm so tired. Tired of being rejected. Tired of being a freak. I don't even belong in a seeing man's world. I'm like an animal, you know? People pity me and pat me on the head. Good job, boy. But Lara, I'm so tired. I'm so tired of being the dog sitting by the fireplace. I mean, Jesus! What possible use could I ever be to society? I'll always be the freak in the corner of the cafeteria! The one that people stay away from, afraid that I might infect their perfect eyes. And I'm tired of people tutting at me as I pass by.."
"What the HELL is tutting," interrupted Lara.
"Oh, Americans! It's when you go like this," I said, making a tsk tsk sound with my mouth.
"I see," she said, indicating that she wanted me to continue.
"Lara," I painfully said, "Lara, why does the world hurt so much? Why is it only fair to those of noble birth? I hate being a freak! I hate being an outcast. I wish the physicians hadn't saved me. I hate being blind and I hate each coming day!" As I said this, my voice reached a crescendo. I felt Lara's warm, comforting arms surrounding my pathetic frame.
"Shh, Devon," she said, comforting me. "Listen to me. Life is not easy, I know." I continued to sob. She continued to hold me. After a bit, she made me sit down upright. I heard the chair squeak as she sat next to me. "Life is not easy at all. You think it's easy being in a white man's world? Hell no it ain't! Can you imagine what it was like going to college when I did? I was lucky to find a date in my own damn grade! And me in the same state that the Loving case... damn, the 60s sure were interesting."
"Isn't that the case were the biracial couple were banned from Virginia for 25 years?"
"Yes.. It meant a lot to me then. But listen, boy. Life is tough. And if you stick it out, you'll find it was worthwhile. You have a lot of spark, boy. A lot of it. I know you better than anyone here. And I know that you, yes you Devon, will make a difference. Blind or not. Your red hot Irish ass and your British stodginess will take you where you want and get you what you want. But you have a big heart too, honey. And I know that one day you're going to share it. But maybe that day isn't today... Or next week.. Or even next year. You got it give it time, honey. Men are pigs. And they break hearts as easily as they break out into fights. Maybe he isn't the one... He probably ain't good enough for you anyhow." She laughed, and I could feel her smile as she mussed my hair. "You listen here, boy. You got a lot of life ahead of you. Don't cut down a tree unless you're ready to drag it along behind you. Think about what you're doing. And before you can even love anyone, you have to do something very important."
"What's that?"
"You gotta love yourself," she said, holding me tight. I could feel her tears drip onto my neck. "You are so amazing, boy. You have so much strength, and you've gone so far. Don't you dare stop now or I'll have to smack you around a couple times, hear?" I could feel her smile again. "Now look what your English ass did.. you went and messed up my makeup!" She walked into my washroom and started running the water.
"He's beautiful, isn't he?"
"Who," Lara asked. She knew full well who.
"Ben." She laughed. Her voice was echoing from the walls within the washroom. She stepped out.
"I don't care if he's some damn Adonis. He still ain't good enough for you. He tries anything, I slap him.. BITCH slap him!" She started getting really sassy, imagining the confrontation. "Don't you be messing with Devon! SMACK! Down goes the bitch!" She was laughing from her gut, and so was I. Suddenly, I heard her gasp. "Damn, boy! We're late for your class! Get your blind ass in gear and go!"
Part VIII.
Those days that followed my decision were increasingly difficult. Lara had asked me to speak with Devon, but I couldn't. I simply couldn't. So I focused all of my energy on my classes. Most of them weren't overly difficult. My speech teacher was turning into a major thorn in my side, but I continued on. As the days progressed, I found Tommy to be more than I first judged. I thought he was just the friendly jock, but in fact he seemed to be actively seeking my friendship. Since I felt alone in this school, I decided to take his friendship. He and I always talked in History, and Mr. Jackles was constantly giving us the evil eye.
One particular day, I came in. Anthony, a boy who had always shown me a very angry aura since the first time we met, was not in his seat. In a normal high school, this wouldn't have been unusual. But when you have dorms right next to the classes you take, it is more of a surprise. I thought that he was merely sick. I shrugged it off and Tommy and I began our normal chatter.
Mr. Jackles came in as always with his penny loafer leather briefcase and set it on his desk. He had a smirk on his face. Uh oh, I thought. Something is definitely up. "Hello class," he said slowly and gleefully, "Today is Friday. So you'll have a whole weekend for your favorite thing: studying!" My eyebrows raised. I kept wondering what he was up to. Just then, Anthony burst into the room. His face was strained with tears. He almost ran to his seat. I turned around, looking at him with concern, but he returned my concern with the stare of death. If looks could kill!
I turned back around as Mr. Jackles said, "Welcome, Anthony! You're just in time for me to announce to the class that we're having a midterm on Monday!" The class groaned in response. "Spare me the melodrama!" I hadn't noticed it before, but Jackles was acting almost.. queeny. I'd never thought of him that way before. I then noticed that his pager beeped at him. Jackles checked it, and excused himself. The class started nervously talking about this surprise midterm. Some were very angry. I went back to Anthony's seat.
"Are you okay?"
"Leave me alone," he said, wiping tears away from his face. I stared into his eyes. Something had deeply upset him.
"Anthony.. What's wrong?"
"Mordrin.." he whispered. I didn't understand. "We have to watch out for his cane." This confused me even more so. Anthony's eyes started to water again. "I didn't want him to be the one. I wanted someone else... Someone that I cared for, at least. I just thought he wanted to help..." Mr. Jackles returned to class.
"Anthony, I'm afraid that you're going to have to go. Mr. Mordrin has an academic meeting scheduled with you." The class oohed at this. A meeting like this was normally conducted when a student was suffering from poor grades. Anthony shook his head, no. Mr. Jackles walked back to Anthony and physically pulled him up. "Look, we don't need a suspension for insubordination. Let's go to it, young man."
"No!!!!" Anthony's scream filled the classroom, killing all conversation. "He can't make me!" Mr. Jackles was turning bright red. He looked like those teapot caricatures in the cartoons as they were about to boil.
"You get out here NOW! You have a meeting and that's it! Not one more word! GO!!" I had never seen Mr. Jackles so angry. It was scary. His anger was as pure as the hate my father had for me. I shuddered at the thought.
****************************************
(as told by Devon)
Lara was right. That Ben.. whatever his name... was a real asshole. After that first day, she didn't tell me if he was in the hallways, and I didn't ask. I didn't need to be hurt anymore than I already had been. I just went about my business as if nothing else mattered. I became as I was before meeting him - secluded. The days passed one after the other, nothing new ever really happening. Lara grew increasingly overprotective of me, as if the slightest breeze would push me over. I kept telling her that I wasn't made of glass, but Lara is Lara. She won't have a word of it.
And after that strange incident of Mordrin visiting my class, he never bothered me again. That man just does not make me feel at ease at all. It's like he has some dark ulterior motive to all that he does. Oh well. I guess it's just my mind running to conclusions again.
Lara didn't mention anything that went on in the hall again for about a week. I heard her sigh that worried sigh she makes only when she is deeply concerned. I asked her what the problem was. "It's that boy again," she replied.
My ears perked up. I said it without thinking: "Ben?!"
"No," she said distractedly, "but he hangs out with him. He's been watching you with... sad eyes ... a lot recently."
I assured her, "I have absolutely no interest in anyone else other than..." With that my voice trailed off.
"Ben?" she filled in for me. I responded with silence.
****************************************
God, Mr. Jackles is such an ass! I think I said that,rather than think it, as I diligently studied for the upcoming History mid-term. All the things that were going to be on the test.. and I had missed half of them! Being the new kid sucks. But then again, it's not half as bad as being with my dad.
Before I knew it, I heard the door slam. God, they were at it again. These two were clear as clock work! Three times a week or more. Hump hump hump. Can we say INSATIABLE? Ugh! The bed was only lightly squeaking, so I ignored it. I continued to sift through my History text. But the next thing that I knew... SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK! "Ok," I said, slamming down my books and notes onto the desk in my room, "That's IT!" Fuming, I stood up and opened the door carelessly. I stomped down the hallway and ripped open the door.
Jamie was moaning loudly, his pale hind end exposed. Tommy's legs were over Jamie's shoulders. Tommy was moaning, "Oh Jamie.. yes.. Jamie..." Then I heard something that cannot be properly described. I heard a shriek so high pitched that Sarah Brightman would be put to shame. It must have been at least four octaves above middle C. Tommy was staring right into my eyes as he continued to shriek. He must have screamed for five minutes... I hate to use the word, but.. Five minutes straight.
Jamie noticed the look of utter fear in his lover's face and immediately pulled out. Tommy's legs dropped to the mattress with a loud thump. Jamie turned around to see me at the door, arms crossed. As opposed to his partner's wild reaction, he merely gasped and said, "Oh shit." Jamie grabbed the blanket that had been kicked to the bottom of the bed and pulled it over his mate and him. After continued screaming, Jamie turned to Tommy and yelled, "Shut the hell up!"
"Oh god.. please... oh... please.. Ben.. it's not what it seems!" Tommy was whimpering, and I saw tears start to streak down his face. It was difficult to stifle a laugh, but I did. "I mean... we were just.. Umm..."
"STUDYING?!" I boomed. In hindsight, I didn't mean to be so cruel. But I was very annoyed. Tommy whined something and nodded his head, yes. I rolled my eyes.
"Look, I'll do anything, Ben... Just don't tell anyone..." Tommy was going to bribe me! At this point, I couldn't take it anymore. I just started shaking, and finally burst out laughing. Tommy got very worried, and began to cry even more. "I'm begging you, man! Please!"
"Do you..." I said, regaining my composure somewhat, "think that I am STRAIGHT?" I could feel myself turning red. "Why do you think I was asking about..." Suddenly, I stopped laughing. Devon. My angel. But I couldn't...
"You're... you're gay," Tommy stated rather than ask me. It was obvious that he was shocked. Jamie just smiled and nuzzled his head against Tommy's muscular shoulder.
"Bingo," I retorted.
"Shit. Well, if you won't tell I'll let you..." Tommy said, indicating the part that only Jamie had used. Jamie saw what he was suggesting and glared at me. I giggled to myself softly.
"You don't have to do anything, Tommy!" I shook my head. Jamie visibly relaxed. "Besides, Jamie would kick my ass," I said smiling. Jamie looked at me with a goofy grin, and kissed Tommy on the shoulder. So there was more than sex for them. They really cared for each other.
I picked up Tommy and Jamie's clothes and threw the pile at them. They seemed to blush a little, realizing that they were still naked. They quickly dressed after surviving the initial embarrassment. Just as Tommy slipped on his final sock, we heard footsteps and keys jingling in the hall. The two lovebirds looked at each other in fear. A moment later, there was a loud knock on the door.
Tommy and Jamie jumped off the bed, pulled apart from each other, and moved to opposite corners of the tiny dorm. I walked up to the eyehole in the door. Before me stood a middle aged man with a pot belly. He was wearing a sky blue shirt and a stained tie. On his left breast pocket was a golden star. It read GLENVILLE SHAW ACADEMY FOR BOYS SECURITY TEAM. Oh shit, I thought to myself. I took a breath. I saw his arm reach back to knock again on the door. Before he did so, I called out, "Who is it?" My voice cracked. God. I thought I had finished all this voice changing crap. Why do you sound like a complete retard at the most inopportune of times?
"Pizza delivery," a nasal voice sarcastically replied. He paused and then said, "You've been screaming at the top of your lungs: who the hell do you think it is?" Without giving me a moment to respond, he said, "It's security! Open the door, please." I shook my head and opened the door.
Tommy and Jamie almost seemed to be cowering in the back of the room. I turned around to see a very pathetic body. He must have been 5'6" and 275 pounds of fat. His hair was pine brown, and the mustache on his face seemed to be a faux pas from the 1970s. He walked in bowlegged. Who the hell did he think he was, John Wayne? I sat on the center edge of the bed. He didn't seem to have but a few brain cells left, so I thought that I'd appease him. "What seems to be the problem, officer?" A spark went off in his eyes. Ooh, officer. That helped his ego. He thought I respected him, so he calmed down a little.
"Well boys, you need to calm down. Some guy from the next building over called a complaint about the noise."
"Who?" Tommy asked suspiciously. He had apparently found his balls again. Damn it, Tommy! You're going to get us in trouble!
"That blind freak." He answered curtly.
"He's not a freak!" I yelled. The pig-wannabe just gave me a hmph! as a response. I looked down and sighed. "Look, sir, we're sorry. We didn't mean to be so much trouble. We're just stressed out over an upcoming test.."
"Oh CRAP," exclaimed Tommy, not thinking. "I forgot about that!" The pig in training's eyes shifted from one person to the other.
"Well, some of us were studying," I continued. I tapped my fingers on my legs nervously. "Look, sir. We're really sorry to have been such a problem. We won't do it again. We'll go right back to studying and not bother you again." My eyes beamed sincerity. He just crossed his arms.
"You know the dorm rules," he finally said. Jamie looked down, soon followed by Tommy. "No loud noises, or punishment will ensue." Tommy looked at him pleadingly. "But.. I guess I can let you off this time. But if I hear any more complaints, I'll have to inform Mr. Mordrin." He looked at each one of us as he said this. That done, he shoved his hands into his side pockets and walked out the door. After he closed it, we all let out an audible sigh. Thank goodness he was gone!
****************************************
(as told by Devon)
Those damn kids! The curse of being blind, of course, is that your other senses develop beyond those of normal human capacity. I swear, sometimes I can even hear a dog whistle. And what I heard couldn't possibly have been human. Not male at least. It was so high-pitched. It was killing me. Luckily, the sound was from the next building, so it was somewhat muffled. I'd never done it before, but I called security. I felt like a weasel while doing it, too. But that's all right. It shut them up, at least.
I went back to work as I heard my door open and close. "Hello?" I called out, disinterested. It was Lara. She was whistling some tune that I can't recall as she put some bags down. She had bought something. Leave it to Lara to cheer me up when I'm grumpy.
"Good evening, Mr. Devon," she lovingly said. I could feel her smile beaming all over the room. "Jesus boy! It's cold in here!" I heard her walk over to the thermostat and adjust it.
"You know, if my daddy had the money to pay for the contruction of my own penthouse, I'd put it to good use!" I just laughed to myself slightly. Good old Lara. She always teased me about either my money or my accent. I'm originally from England, you see. My mother was Irish, accounting for my hair. And they were very well off. After my father's company went international, he decided to move his headquarters to the United States. It wasn't too long after that that the accident happened. Please don't ask... I don't like talking about it.
Anyway, after the accident, my father decided that I would be better off in a school where they could take care of me. It's not that he couldn't afford a full-time staff; I think he sent me because he didn't want to remember. The accident took mother, too, you see. I was the only survivor. So he sent me off to this school, and one of his provisions is that I have a livable dormitory. Livable for him meant a kitchen, sitting room and bedroom. He also required that I have a full-time aide. This was mandated by the state as well. So it happened, seven years ago, that I met Lara. It's funny isn't it? I've known her for so long, but I can't see her face....
"Devon," Lara said, full of worry, "What's wrong, boy?" She held me to her. I guess she could hear me weeping from the kitchen.
"Why did it have to happen to me?" The tears were slowing down. "I mean of all the people. Why me? This thing called fate... it's so cruel."
"Now now," she comforted, "It's all right. I'm going to make us some dinner. I didn't have any dates lined up tonight." She laughed to herself. "Let's eat by the pond."
And so we did.
Part IX.
Tommy, Jamie and I pretty much stuck together the day that followed my coming out. We were all a little nervous; a little unsure. We didn't know what this newfound discovery (at least it was newfound for them) would mean. I think the fact that they knew made my life a little easier. I hated to admit it, but being out to someone was a wonderful and unexplored freedom. We could look at each other and share secrets with our eyes alone. Forget a picture: the faintest smile could express thousands of words. After sharing our secret, the grass seemed greener and the sky seemed just a shade bluer. The night just wasn't as dark as it had seemed previously.
It sure felt great. At lunch, Tommy walked up to his regular table, full of jocks. Dan Vichosone looked as sinister as ever. Tommy nervously walked up to them and said, "Uh, guys... Ben and Jamie.. and me.. we're... we're going to eat outside." No one at the table did as much as bat an eye. One of them said, "Whatever." Dan looked at Jamie and I with hate in his eyes. He seemed to be digging deep holes in our chests. A moment later, I looked at Tommy. He gave Jamie and I a nod, and we walked away.
"Tommy," Jamie said softly as we walked, "that Dan... he worries me." Tommy laughed in response.
"Don't worry. That's just his way." Jamie looked at me with concern. I forced a smile on my worried face. Tommy then opened the door to the courtyard as we stepped outside.
As we walked into the courtyard, we all sighed a breath of relief. Even though we were only yards outside of the school, we felt a new air of freedom. Away from eyes constantly watching us, we could speak our minds. We could speak words that we would not have dared utter the day before. We walked over to a cherry-red table. A few yards away, we could see the green fence marking the edge of GSA; its renaissance flair giving me an uplifting feeling.
Tommy looked at Jamie and I, and then looked at the table. He nodded at us, indicating that he wanted us to sit down. We complied. Once there, Tommy smiled the second biggest smile that I have ever seen. (Only Devon could top it, but later) "Well," he nervously said, "Here we are." Jamie smiled, folded his hands, and looked at his feet.
"Yeah, here we are," I reiterated, not knowing what to say. "So, Ben..." Tommy started, but stopped. My eyes met his, urging him to continue, to break the ice. "When did you... know?" He seemed very embarrassed by his perfectly normal question.
"Honestly?" I asked.
"Honestly," he replied. "When did you first know?"
I unconsciously brushed my hair with my fingers and thought about it. When did I know? Was there ever a year? A moment when the sparks flew out? Was there really a moment when Moses came down from Mount Sinai with a tablet with the etching: YOU ARE GAY? Was there really? Not that I recall. "Well, I don't know if there was ever a moment that I didn't know. I mean, I've always been different. So I guess I could say my entire life. But that isn't entirely fair. I guess I never really thought about it. It was just always there. Not like some dark cloud hovering over me or anything... Just something that always was. Another part of me, I guess. Nothing shocking." I shrugged my shoulders. "It just... always was." I smiled to myself and looked at Tommy and Jamie. "So Tommy, fair is fair. When did you know?"
Tommy laughed quietly and sighed happily. "Well, I guess... I think it's why I joined the team.." He started laughing to himself, sharing what I suppose was a private joke. "The locker room," he said with a wink. I could see a pout forming in Jamie's lips. "Oh, it's not like that anymore," he reassured. "I, too.. I felt.. different. Different, yeah. I guess you'd call it that. But I didn't want to be like that. I fought it. I really did. My dad is Mr. Macho jock-man. So he always encouraged me to play. So I did it. If just to please him. I soon discovered that if I gave my all, in one perfect moment, I was... a god. When I scored that touchdown, everyone would scream and hollar for me. It's just such a wonderful feeling. In that moment, everything that I do wrong.. everything.. doesn't matter anymore. It no longer matters whether or not I'm stupid or smart. I am perfect in that moment. So I stayed with sports.. And I captured as many moments as I could. I found something that I'm good at. And they love me for it. But I wanted more than their admiration. I wanted them to hold me and to say they care for me. They care for me in a way that they care for no one else. So I guess... I guess it was a couple of years ago that I wanted that. And that got me to thinking. It made me realize that when I was in the shower, those glances that I gave were more than mere curiosity. I wanted to feel the others. I wanted to touch them and I wanted them to touch me back.. in places I only dreamed of. So I did.. with a few. Most of them did the ‘I'm drunk and I didn't know what I was doing.' So I moved on... But it was always, just sex, you know?" Tommy then looked at Jamie. "Jamie, you are the first one that I have cared for. Not just for sex... even though..." I interrupted Tommy. "You two have only had sex? You haven't had anything more meaningful than that?"
"It never occurred to me that... that there was more, you know?" he said.
"I bet Jamie hasn't heard you say this before to him, has he?" I looked at the two of them. Jamie was a very quiet fellow. Very smart, but very quiet. Maybe the two go together. I could see that Jamie was listening deeply to our conversation. He looked deep into Tommy's eyes. No, he was swimming in them. "You two need so much more."
"But what else is there?" Tommy asked, not moving from Jamie's face.
"Quiet evening... walks by the beach... nights just holding each other..." I rattled these and more off, wishing that I had personal experience.
"How do you know all this?" Jamie finally asked, followed by a lover's sigh.
"My heart tells me," I said. "It cries out for these things. But I can't have them," I said, fighting tears. "You two have each other, and that is great. But I am alone."
"But you don't have to be. What about..." Tommy just stopped and looked at me.
"Devon..." I think I just whispered it, but Tommy heard it. He smiled at me. Suddenly, an evil spark went off in his brain. I was too lost in the moment to notice it though, until he told me later.
"And I guess it's my turn.." Jamie began, "I never really wanted to be this way... That's why I buried my nose in books. I excelled in academia... But Tommy saved me from being too lost. He showed me how to love. But now that we've been shown, we can do so much more.." He smiled, and he seemed to be begging for a kiss.
Tommy started to lean forward, but leaned back again. He then decided to begin his plan. "I guess you're right, Ben. You're going to be single until you die. That red-haired guy is nasty anyway. He isn't anything but a freak!" A fire erupted in me. How dare he say that about my man! I'll kill him! My face must have been bright red. With a force I didn't know I had, my hand whooshed acroos the table and clenched his throat with a power I didn't know that I posessed.
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed. "Don't you EVER say that about Devon again! He is NOT a freak! He is the most..." I swore and screamed, and Jamie reacted too, screaming for help, trying to bite my hand and forcibly remove it from his lover's throat. A dark shadow covered my and ripped me away from Tommy. I saw Tommy tenderly rubbing his neck, gasping for breath. Jamie was holding him tight, crying loudly.
I turned around to see no one but my favorite, Mr. Dennis Mordrin. He seemed furious. "How DARE you start a fight in MY cafeteria?! Come down to my office IMMEDIATELY!" he screamed. I looked at him with fear in my eyes. He was mad. "No tears, no excuses. Go there NOW!" With that, he turned and walked off, his cane clicking with every other footstep.
"Ben.." Tommy gasped, "I'm s-" I didn't want to hear the rest of it. I jumped up from the table and ran to Mordrin's office, crying.
****************************************
(Tommy experienced this, but told me what happened later)
Tommy was in Jamie's room. Jamie was on his computer surfing the internet. Tommy was still shocked that I had attempting to choke him to death, but otherwise fine. His years of athletic training had made him endure much more that a 25 pound weakling's attempt at murder. (Those are his words, not mine. We all know that I weigh more than that!) "Don't worry about it, Jamie. I'm fine."
Jamie made no response, so Tommy just shrugged and cleaned up after his man. God, he was a pig. Bed sheets were everywhere. Books and papers lay scattered on the floor. And they hadn't even screwed in his room, either! It was kind of Mordrin to give them the day off, thought Tommy. Suddenly, Jamie gasped in surprise.
"What's wrong, babe?" Tommy asked nonchalantly. Jamie just pointed to his computer monitor. "Ok.." Tommy looked at the monitor, but was confused. "It's just a state police listing... looks like photos of parole violators. Not all have photos, though."
Tommy then watched Jamie click on a hyperlink for "Child Molestors." The computer made a happy click in response. An hourglass appeared, and moments later, a new screen appeared. Photos of known child molestors that had broken parole started to appear. They waited a few moments. Jamie scrolled to the bottom of the page, and a somewhat familiar face showed up. "Oh my god!" yelled Jamie. "That's... that's...."
****************************************
Dennis Mordrin locked the door after his initial "talk" with me. "Now Ben," his old pudgy lips began, "You know the rules as well as I. Fights are strictly prohibited. I'm afraid that I will have to expell you. I guess I should give your father a call," he said softly, slowly picking up the telephone receiver.
"No," I pleaded, tears coming to my eyes. "Please... don't call him. I beg of you. Show me some mercy. Please." Dennis put down the telephone.
"Well, I guess we can make some allowances." Dennis put his hands on either side of the black leather chair that he had been sitting in and pushed himself up. "First, we should seal the deal.." he said, almost to himself, as he walked over to another side of his office. I noticed that in the far corner, his cane was propped against the wall. A smile curled up on his pudgy lips. I didn't have a very good feeling about this.
"If you want to stay at this school, you will have to take on certain duties. If all goes well, you may well be elected as a future teacher. Anyway, let's begin the ceremony." He walked over to his cane, and started to open it, but decided against it. "No," he said, "that will have to wait until later." He closed his cane and it shut with a click. He walked back over to me.
"Well.. Ben it is, yes? Ben, you must go back to class now. Mr. Jackles tells me that you have an upcoming mid-term.. And if you hurry, you'll only be twenty minutes late. Here, let me write you a pass."
As I exited Mr. Mordrin's office, I could immediately smell the clean air. I hadn't noticed it before with all of my nervousness, but Mr. Mordrin's office had a very peculiar odor to it... an almost leather smell. I shook my head, and exited the school's main office door. Waiting in finely finished redwood chairs were Tommy and Jamie. They both looked up at me. Tommy jumped up and gave me a huge hug.
I didn't understand. Why would he do this when I had nearly killed him? Just twenty-five minutes ago or so, I had choked the life out of him, and now he was acting like we were blood brothers. What gives? I looked into his eyes, unsure of his motives. Then I looked at Jamie, who was silently sitting there, observing. "I'm sorry, man," Tommy said, on the verge of tears. "I didn't know that Mordrin was going to be there." I broke the hug and looked at Tommy straight (well, I can never do anything straight.. so I looked forward) in the eye.
"What are you talking about? My friend, I almost killed you. And this is somehow okay with you?!" I just didn't understand. Tommy just smiled, embarrassed.
"I guess I've known for a while that you had a thing for that blind.. I mean, Devon. I just wanted to push your buttons. I wanted to see if you'd react. And hell, did you react!" He laughed and smiled. "Anyway, while you were gone, we..."
"Well, first we found that.." Jamie interrupted.
"That's just a coincidence. But we found Devon's e-mail address... so we.." Tommy looked at Jamie for support.
The two of them moved next to each other, hands around each other and said, "We told him." My face must have turned bright white. And I thought that this was going to be a good day! Shit. Now I'm going to die.
Just then, Mr. Mordrin popped his head into the hallway. "I thought I told you to go to class," he barked at me. Then he noticed my two compadres. "You two... all three of you to class at once!" He wrote all of us passes to class, so off we went.
****************************************
(As told by Devon)
As I had the computer reread the message to me, I was dumbstruck. It couldn't be. It just couldn't. I held my hand to Lara's, unsure. "What should I do?" I whispered it, the breath barely escaping my body. I felt her warm hands massaging my back.
"I don't know," she replied. I could tell that she was in as much shock as I. "I mean, I've heard of playing hard to get, but damn. This is ridiculous. I just don't know. I'd say keep away from him. He probably ain't Irish, anyway." I could sense a faint smile escape her lips, even though I'd never even seen them.
"I don't think that I can keep up the charade much longer, Lara." I said.
"I want this to be real. I want him... to want me."
"I know, baby," Lara said, gently massaging my back. After comforting me, Lara went off to other things. While she was away, I replied to the e-mail.
Thank you for writing to me. However, I'm a little unsure as to the validity of your claims. Please meet me tomorrow in the lunch room to let me know that what you want it genuine and as passionate as I hope it is. I hope to see you there.
Sincerely,
Devon.
I quickly sent the e-mail as I heard Lara approaching me. I don't think she saw it. Tomorrow would be the day. Tomorrow would truly prove if love conquers all. Tomorrow I would see whether love can jump the pains and arrows of outrageous fortune or leave me in utter dispair.
Part X.
I couldn't believe it. He had to be kidding. "You're not serious," I half-asked, half-said into the phone. "But he couldn't possibly..." Tommy continued to talk into the phone. My god. He wanted to see me... Ok, not SEE me, since he's blind.. but he wanted to talk to me, to be with me.
I fell onto my bed and exhaled a lover's sigh. This was too perfect. Too wonderful and perfect. I smiled and glanced at the clock by my bed. OH SHIT, I almost exclaimed to myself. It was almost time for English. I got up and jumped into the shower. I quickly cleaned myself, combed my hair, and rushed to class.
English passed uneventfully. As I was in the halls after English, trying to pass through the Red Sea, I heard loud laughter. Man, I wish I was Moses in times like this. Just lift up my arms and WHOOSH.. everyone gets out of my way. Wishful thinking. I turned and saw Dan. He stared at me, daggers coming out of his eyes. "What do you want, faggot?" he coldly called to me. My face turned white. He had found out.. How had he found out? Well, it didn't matter anymore... I just had to escape. I turned and started to walk away, but his cold, overly muscular hand shot out and grabbed me. "No you don't." He pulled me into a dark corner. I thought he was going to kill me.
He threw me on the floor. I fell like a rag doll. I was as frightened as a deer facing oncoming headlights. This was the end.. This was my final day... "Why," he started, grabbing my shirt right by my shoulders and pulling me up, "did you take him from me?! We were so close! It almost happened, but then in you trot.. Your little faggotty ass... Thinking that you're all fucking that! He was to be mine!" He screamed the last sentence and exhaled his breath heavily. Yuck. I could smell alcohol on his breath.
"You bastard!" he continued, his eyes swelling with anger and hate. "You and that little fuck, Jamie! You're lucky you're still alive." He was breathing heavily. I saw beads of sweat developing around his brow and lower neck. "You bastard... I hate all faggots." He raised one arm as if to punch me. I squeezed my eyes shut as his blow hit me. He hit my stomach with full force. It was as if a cannon ball had been shot at me. Tears were developing in my eyes.
"But Dan," I managed to say between coughing and gasping for breath, "you're a faggot... too."
"I'll fucking kill you, man!" he screamed, his testosterone hitting a horrific high. "I'll rip your balls off!" His teeth were clenched together and his lips were raised. Even in this terrible moment, I thought to myself, And people find football players ATTRACTIVE? "I know you're a faggot," he continued, "and if you so much as touch my Tommy... I'll fucking kill you! You've taken him from me. It's all your fault." Tears of frustration dripped from the corners of his eyes.
Then he let out an inhuman scream. He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me up with all of his strength and roughly pushed me into a wall. We were out of the corner now. Maybe someone could see us and help me..
My limp body bounced into the wall as he punched me again. "I'll kill that blind little fuck, too!" he screamed, preparing to punch me again. This time however, my eyes raged with fire. He wasn't going to touch Devon. That bastard! I lifted my leg and kneed him in the groin with every ounce of power that I had in me. Dan screamed in pain, holding his wounded crotch. He knelt on the ground in pain, his head lowered.
"You won't touch Devon, you piece of shit!" I screamed, jumping on him, with a power that I didn't know that I possessed. I bent my arm and lifted it to the left, slamming my elbow on his shocked face. "Nobody, not even you is going to touch him! You understand?!" I screamed. Was this really me? "And for your information, Tommy has no interest in you! He only wants Jamie. He wants someone with a heart as big as his... Not some piece of shit like you!" With that, I spat on Dan's head in disgust.
Dan then began to cry. I was amazed that a guy that heartless could. "I'm not.. gay," he said in between tears. "I'm not a fucking fruit. I'm a man, just like my dad. And Tommy isn't a cocksucker either." He looked up at me with reddened eyes. "You're just making this up," he told himself. "You gaddamm queer!" he screamed, and grabbed my throat. I shook in fear, rather than pain. Suddenly, I heard running footsteps and loud yelling.
"Get off of him!" a voice screamed. Dan's hands were yanked from my throat. I looked up to see a short teacher with horn-rimmed glasses staring at me. I looked over at Dan, who was apparently held at bay by the teacher's foot. The teacher looked over to Dan. "Now Dan, you know the rules. Mr. Mordrin wouldn't appreciate that. But I saw him start the fight." The teacher's eyes shifted as he said the lie. "Now go to your room and freshen up." Dan gave a half-smile and walked off. "I believe you have an appointment with Mr. Mordrin," he said, indicating that I should leave.
I walked off, in a daze.
****************************************
(As told by Devon)
I was getting impatient. I called over to Lara, and had her bend down so that I could whisper into her ear. "How much longer?" I impatiently asked her.
I could feel her smiling as she softly laughed and whispered back, "Now calm down, honey. It's going to be ok. You have about an hour left until lunchtime." She patted me kindly on the back and walked away.
I impatiently waited for the hour to pass, and it finally did. As Lara guided me to the cafeteria, I heard a concerned voice call out, "Tommy! He's over here!" I didn't really take much notice of it, as thousands of other conversations were being held at the same time.
Lara suddenly said, "It's that boy again..." I almost asked her if she meant my one and only, but I was almost immediately answered by another's voice.
"Hi, Devon," he briskly said. He seemed worried. Buy why? "Have you seen Ben?" I could hear his footsteps and another's beside him.
"Whoever you are," I answered, "I haven't seen anyone for years. And no, I have yet to speak with... Ben." I paused before saying that perfect name. It certainly deserved reverence.
"That's odd," he said, a bit too concerned. "I haven't seen him all day."
I paused for a moment, becoming worried. "So why did you ask me?" I curiously asked. What did this person want?
"I'm sorry," he responded. "My name's Tommy, and this is my boy... This is my friend, Jamie. We're the ones that e-mailed you."
I stopped dead in my tracks, which could have caused a minor collision of bodies; bodies that were brainlessly swarming into the cafeteria. I began to get upset. I hid it well, though. I think. "You mean... it was just a TRICK?!" I exclaimed in half-pain, half-anger. "You set me up as a fool?! Not that it matters anymore... Not that anything matters."
"Hey, slow down there, bud. We just said the words that he was afraid to say. He helped us, we helped him. Anyway, he's got it for you... bad." I calmed down a bit. We continued to the cafeteria and decided to wait for him. So we waited. And waited. Minutes felt like hours.
"Something's wrong," I said. "He's not coming. Something is very wrong." I heard footsteps approach the table that we were at.
"Damn, boy!" Lara exclaimed to our visitor, "Looks like someone gave you a major whooping!" The visitor ignored her, but took a seat. Tommy later told me that the visitor sat backwards in his chair.
"Hey, fags." the voice coldly said. Jamie and Tommy seemed to gasp simultaneously.
"Listen football boy," Lara threateningly hissed, "I am going to get you and your dumb ass kicked out of here so fast you won't know what hit you! Forget Rosa Parks! I got more will than a damn Italian!" Lara was full of rage. She could be so overprotective.. and I loved her for it.
"Shut up bitch, or I'll let the whole school know what side of the bed your friends here sleep on!" Lara muttered in response. "Now Tommy, you and I are gonna get close. Real close. And you'll dump the math nerd." Jamie seemed to be holding back his anger, breathing deeply. "From now on you're going to do what I want, when I want.. or the whole school is going to find out your little secret!"
"You wouldn't," Tommy almost emotionlessly said. "Because you'd expose yourself." The visitor paused to think about that point. "What did you do with Ben, you little fuck? The school may not know my sexual preference, but they'll soon see my violent side if you don't tell me. I swear to god, I'll pound every grin off of your asshole face!"
"Probably expelled!" he gleefully replied. But how could this be! Impossible! Not my Ben! "He was caught, attacking an important athletic star!" With that, the stranger laughed to himself. "But I promised to finish my troubles to Ben.. so I shall!" With that, I heard a distinctive swoosh. "I'll rip your guts out, you blind fuck!" he screamed.
"Oh my god! He's got a knife!" screamed Jamie. I heard Jamie jump out of his seat and pull Tommy with him, protecting his love.
However, before Jamie had even escaped his chair, I heard a louder metallic click. I heard Lara jump out of her seat and the visitor gasp in shock. "Put that down, you little fuck! Don't make me do it! I'm authorized to protect this boy no matter what. How much of a chance do you stand against a skilled marksman?" I'd never heard or perceived Lara like this...
The knife fell to the floor with a soft ping. The visitor fell out of his chair and pulled himself backwards, sliding on his butt, away from Lara. I heard Lara, the general, call out to us: "Let's book!" She helped me up, and we ran. We ran like the wind.
It's moments like that that I wish I could see more than ever... Just to see the disbelief in his face... the unwanted visitor's face.
****************************
So this is what Devon's life is like... completely black. I hung there, the red marks on my back swelling... I heard a wheezing breath in the corner... or was it a corner? Wherever I was, it was damp. I heard water droplets plop onto the ground every so often. "I... tried... to warn you," Anthony managed to say. "Escape... before.... it's too late."
I tried to focus.. How did it go? I started singing the beautiful melody...
There is a candle in ev'ry soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold.
There is a spirit, who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes his home...So carry your candle into the darkness
Seek out the hopeless, confused and torn.
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle and go light your world,
Take your candle and go light your world...
****************************
(As told by Devon)
They were excited about something. Other than our previous incident, that is. I had just found out that my father had personally hired Lara, and saw to it that I was kept alive. But why? He hated me, didn't he? Then it dawned on me... I was all that he had left.
"Oh my god." Lara kept repeating.
"I told you.." either Tommy or Jamie said.. I wasn't really listening that closely. I still couldn't believe it... Lara was a hired bodyguard!
"So that bastard is wanted... I've been a little wary of him for a while."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, suddenly interested.
"We don't think your boyfriend has been expeled, dear." Lara said. I was confused. This was so contradictory. He wasn't my boyfriend... was he? "Damn it's late.." Lara added. "Oh, screw it. This is more important." Lara was speaking very quickly. Something was really upsetting her, but I didn't know what. "Where's the damn phone?" I heard her dialing some numbers, and walked away from me. She didn't want me to hear something.
****************************
(I didn't experence this, but it was related to me at a later time)
Anthony was almost shoved into class. He looked terrible, like someone has just beaten him within an inch of his life. He was wheezing for some reason. Mr. Jackles turned and looked at him. His face was red with fury. "Welcome back! And here is your test.. oh look.. FORTY-SEVEN PERCENT!" Mr. Jackles punched his hand across his desk, forcing his penny loafer briefcase to go flying, papers flying everywhere.
He moved over to where Anthony was, standing in shock. "Where are your friends, you little shit?! They're missing the fun!" He ran over to Anthony like a mad bull, and physically pulled him up and propped him on his desk. "Where are they? Are they little faggots too?" He placed both hands on Anthony's shoulders and forced Anthony to lay on his desk.
"I hate faggots!" he screamed. With that, he pulled a belt out from his pants and cracked it against Anthony's face. Though worn out, he screamed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! STOP!!!!!!"
"Shut the fuck up!" screamed Mr. Jackles, insanely enraged. The class just sat and watched in shocked silence. Too scared to move. Too scared to breathe. "Do you LIKE being his fuck toy, bitch? DO YOU?!" He cracked the belt again. "Maybe you'll be my assistant one day.. You'll move up the ranks like I did. You want to turn out like me? Do you like being his slave?" Another crack. Anthony was able to swerve and miss it.. barely. "You like to wriggle, don't you, you little whore! All of you little sluts... you FAGGOTS!" Anthony was crying in pain.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, I SAID!" Another crack. "Can't even spell goddamm Roman Pax right!" Crack. "You're a goddamm queer fucking failure!" But there was some spark left in Anthony's eyes all of a sudden. He looked up at Mr. Jackles and spat in his face. "I'll fucking kill you!" screamed Mr. Jackles.
"Do it!" he managed to bark back. "Not like it will make any difference. I'm already dead. He took my soul."
****************************
He had taken me out of the cellar and into his office. He loked the door. He removed my blindfold but had covered my mouth with tape. My hands were tightly tied to the chair, and my legs were cuffed to the floor. Why hadn't I seen this before?
"This behavior is unacceptable, Mr. Dowling," he coldly said. He was so used to having the power. He laughed softly, saying, "Your blind friend is probably dead now. I saw that boy you were fighting with. He was on the breaking point.. and he now has a nice switchblade. You won't be seeing either of them around. And since I had no control over it..." He stopped and looked at me. I was staring away mindlessly.
"We made an agreement, Mr. Dowling, and now it's time to pay up. And you have been initiated.. you did fairly well. Now its time for the final seal." He unzipped his pants and let them drop to the floor. He ran his dirty hands through my hair and whispered into my ear, "You are mine now." A single tear formed at the corner of my left eye.
Part XI.
(I didn't experience this, but it was later related to me.)
Mr. Jackle's heartless beating on Anthony didn't seem to relent. Anthony's nose was bleeding heavily, along with his lip. He had bruises up and down his arm. Mr. Jackles paused for a moment, bent his head down, sobbing. "You... all of you... you made me into a fucking faggot." He then raised his head and looked at Anthony with rage in his eyes. "And you're all going to pay for it! All of you!!" He looked around the room at the paralyzed bodies. "God damn FAGGOTS!"
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(As told by Devon)
What was happening? One moment Lara was on the phone, and the next, she grabbed my arm and we were running. Where, I wasn't quite sure. But we were running. (God, I feel like Forrest Gump. Of course, I don't even know what Tom Hanks looks like..) "Lara.." I said panting, "what.. what is happening?" I then noticed that they were all panting... What was going on?!
"Devon honey, we've no time to explain. Gotta stop it before it's too late..." I heard a mechanical click and a strange voice on some sort of radio. It seemed to come from Lara's direction. Lara pressed on what seemed to be a button and said, "We're almost there. Quiet entrance, very nonchalant. Yes, I'm sure that this is the suspect you're looking for. There are no others that I know of, but I can't be positive. Agent 582F out." Of course! Lara was on a two-way radio. Buy why? Still more questions...
****************************
So there I was. Let me die now, I thought. Let it end. No more pain. I can't take any more. Oh please... kill me now...
Mordrin had stepped out momentarily to change. He had removed all of my clothes except for my boxers. I had never felt so filthy in my entire life. I shivered in disgust. Just then, a door shut. I looked up as Mordrin returned. A memory flashed in my mind... "Call me Dennis" How could I have been so blind? Why didn't I see this coming? He stepped up to me. Man, was he ugly. He had put on a leather dominator's suit. Maybe leather isn't the right word... it was almost latex. Upon reflection, his sick armor was not unlike that of Catwoman in Batman Returns.
"I am going to remove your next article.. this nice little gauze in your mouth. Before I do, you must not say a word. If you do, I will become angry. You don't want me angry. Do you agree?" I nodded my head in agreement. Anything to get me the hell out of here. If you're going to kill me, just do it already. He removed the gauze and then said, "Now you're going to open your mouth, and you leave it open until I am properly satisfied." I gasped in fear.
Mr. Mordrin turned away from me, and I heard three loud, consecutive popping sounds.He turned around and pressed something into my nose. He growled, "Inhale these, or I'll get mad." I gasped, which led to his desired effect. About fifteen seconds later, I had the worst headache of my entire life. I was swimming in a sea of dizziness. The room floated around in circles. I heard him unzip something. Then I felt something in my mouth. I didn't know what was happening. I shut my eyes to block out the horrid throbbing in my head and the constant spinning I felt.
Mr. Mordrin seemed to be grunting again. "Those poppers are great, aren't they bitch?" I just squeezed my eyes together. Get this over with.. kill me.
****************************
(I didn't experience this, but it was later related to me.)
Anthony was ready to die. Anything to end this torment. Mr. Jackles was still screaming after all this time. You would think he would run out of energy. But a lifetime's amount of pent-up anger and frustration can really get one's adrenaline flowing, I suppose. Anthony looked up and saw that he was about to get his wish. Mr. Jackles was pulling a switchblade out of his pocket. "Now I'm going to fucking END you, you goddamm faggot!" The blade whoosed out of its case. Mr. Jackles was about to strike, but was quickly interrupted.
The door was almost knocked down with force. Three armed man flew into the room with almost superhuman speed. "Drop your weapon and put your arms in the air!" They screamed so loud that you could tell they were scared stiff. When I spoke to these men later, they admitted to their fears. They told me that they could only think of their children, and how after watching their children go off to school in the bus, they wept inside.
Mr. Jackles gasped in fear at the intruders. He got off of Anthony, he slumped onto the ground, exhausted. Mr. Jackles looked at Anthony's terribly bruised body, and then at the armed men. He jumped over Anthony's body and raced towards the other side of the room, opening another door. The door slammed shut and made a distinctive click as it locked. Two of the men advanced towards the door, while the third bent down to attend to Anthony.
Through the door, a loud, "Oof!" sound could be heard. And then:
"What the fuck are you doing in my office?"
"Waiting for a couple of fuckers. What's it to you?"
"I've had it with you goddamm faggots! Now you and the rest of them will get what's coming to you!" His switchblade flicked out again.
"I'm not a goddamm faggot! You can't scare me with your piece of shit knife! I'm not a FAGGOT!" the second voice screamed, and then the unmistakable sound of a gunshot filled the room. "Don't FUCK with me!" the second voice continued. Mr. Jackles just groaned in response. Suddenly, the classroom regained its life and ran outside the room for protection. The two armed men ran to the door, and with all of their might, kicked it down.
Dan Vishosone looked up at them. "Leave me the fuck alone or you'll join him," he yelled pointing his gun menacingly at them. They looked down at Mr. Jackles' corpse. They could tell from the blood pouring out of the back of his head that he was definitely D.O.A. material. One of the men winced. He had never truly seen a gunshot victim this soon after being murdered. The blood.. there was so much blood. The body has five pints of blood in it.. and every ounce was leaking out onto the floor, flooding the room with its stench of death. The man felt total pity for this killer, this teenager. No, this child; this scared little boy.
"Son," one of them said sadly, "please don't make this any worse than it is." He was about to reach out to touch Dan when Dan let three shots out in the air.
"Get the fuck away from me I said! I'll kill you.. both of you!" He turned to run to the hallway exit from Mr. Jackles' office. He tripped and let out anothe shot. Dan regained his footing and ran to the door. The men then yelled to him, "Stop right now! Drop your weapon! You will not be given a second chance!" Dan's face was turning red.
"God damn you! Get away from me!" Dan screamed, loosing another shot. The men continued to advance, uninhibited. "Stop! I'll fucking blow your brains out!"
"That'll be kind of hard, asshole," one of the men hissed at Dan, "without any bullets." Dan looked uncertainly at his gun. He had forgotten to count his shots. How many were there. No, he wasn't that gullible. He was the man! They couldn't touch him.
"Fuck you!" he screamed, pulling the trigger at the agent's face. The gun clicked. Nothing came out. "God damn it!" he screamed. He looked down at his gun and then up again. He was welcomed with a punch to the stomach. Dan leaned forward in pain, clutching his stomach.
"Turn around!" one of the men screamed. Dan obediently complied. Dan felt cold steel wrap around his wrists as they said, half in anger, half in pain, "You are under arrest! You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say or do..."
****************************
(As told by Devon)
Lara saw me weeping, so she put her arm on my shoulder. "It's gonna be ok, honey," she said softly. I could tell from her voice that she was rather unsure of that. "They're gonna be here real quick. I mean, there's three of them. It should be ok. Protocol just says we need more than one agent to enter a room..."
I cut her babble off, asking, "Why did this have to happen? He.. I finally found someone who loves me.. and then..."
"Shh," she comforted. "We're sitting right outside his office, so we can get him the moment the other agents arrive." I patted her on the arm, and she walked away. I called Tommy towards me. I indicated that I wanted him to kneel down so I could whisper in his ear.
When I felt his presence, I whispered, "I need you to knock that door down for me and to lead me in it. Please, Tommy. I feel something is wrong." I heard Lara and Jamie quietly murmuring together. Suddenly I hushed them. I listened closely. When you are blind, your other sense become amazingly powerful. I could hear things that only dogs could. I distinctly heard Mr. Mordrin's cold voice say, "..And now I'm going to fuck you." I pulled on Tommy's shirt and said, "Now. Do it now!"
Tommy pulled me up and lead me toward the door. I heard him arguing with Lara. I said, "No Lara. Let me do this.. before it's too late." I don't know how, but Tommy knocked that door down. I cracked in half. I ran, following my senses, into the room. I could smell Mr. Mordrin's stench. I could smell some other scent.. like drugs or something... I felt Mr. Mordrin's leather clothing and pulled him away from where he was. Then I pushed him with more power than I knew I had. I heard him crash into something. He groaned in pain, and then it was silent.
"Devon, what the hell did you just do?!" screamed Lara.
****************************
It was the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen. Devon, my beautiful blind Devon, saved me. Somehow he got the door to break down. Tommy must have done it. Mr. Mordrin was about to do the unspeakable. Those.. poppers.. as he had called them were finally wearing off. I now knew what he was going to do and what he had done. He had raped my mouth... god... Even today, I have to use double mouthwash before bed. And he was going to fuck me. That dirty old bastard! How many other people had he done this to? But Devon stopped him. Just in time. The asshole wasn't even going to use lubrication of any sort... But Devon came in, and ripped that old fat man off of me and threw him into his desk.
Lara came in afterwords and yelled at Devon. I don't know why. He had just saved my life, and she was yelling at him. It didn't matter, though. He didn't listen to one word she said. My sweet little redhead. I was so enamored with love that I didn't notice Tommy loosing my bonds. The minute I was free though, I grabbed Devon with a passion that I never knew that I would feel. We embraced with something we knew that we now had forever: each other. "Devon," I said softly into his sweet ear, "I love you." Leave it to me to point out the obvious. He began weeping in my arms. My sweet Devon was scared.. for me. Scared of losing me.
Lara broke my moment with Devon by tapping on my shoulder. "You might want this, honey," she said, wrapping a blanket around me. I smiled and thanked her. "You be good to him, or I'll give you worse welts," she said to me, smiling. It was then that I knew that she truly loved Devon. Not the way I loved him though. Thank goodness!
Devon again clutched me. For the first time, I ran my fingers through his sweet, silky red hair. It shone so beautifully in the light. With him still around me, we walked out of the room. Outside of that dirty office, I put my arms around his face, lifting it from my shoulder. I looked deep into his green eyes, even though he could not reciprocate. "Devon," I said softly, "this is something I've wanted to do for a long time." He almost asked me 'what?' but my hungry lips met his before he could do so. If possible, his grip around grew tighter. I swear, he was almost grinding his hips against mine. Not that I minded. We broke the kiss and I said, "Thank you, my sweet, sweet Devon." He smiled so gently and kindly that my heart melted.
I closed my eyes and our lips met again. For once in my life, I knew that I was safe. I knew that I was where I belonged: in the arms of my one and only, Devon. His sweet lips erupted a fire in me. This boy sure knows how to turn me on! My arms wrapped around the back of his head as my tongue slid inside his mouth. I don't know how, but he almost seemed to suck my tongue inside of him. It was so sensual that the blanket that was enclosing my body began to tent out. Devon felt it against him, because as soon as we ended our kiss, he softly said, "I want to feel that inside me tonight." I smiled with joy.
I heard someone clear their throat, so I turned to look. It was Lara. "They're coming this way. You might want to.. umm.. do some adjustments before they arrive," she said, pointing to my problem. I blushed and smiled at her. "I guess I won't be needing to take a late shift tonight to watch over Devon," she grinned. "I doubt he'll be alone an instant." I just beamed with joy.
Part XII.
We should have made a movie of that day: The Longest Day. It was for me, anyway. The police arrived. Once that happened, mass chasos ensued. I couldn't believe some of the questions that they asked. Have you had any previous sexual encounters with teachers? How long have you and Mr. Mordrin been having sexual encounters? Are you sure that this was non-consensual? No, you see, old ulgy fat men just turn me on. Please! And then, of course, I had to open my big mouth and tell them about our dinner engagement. Of course, I obviously was asking for him to rape me.
If you took the stereotype of a police officer, that would be the gentleman -and I use the term loosely- who was questioning me. "So tell me boy, when exactly did y'all go on your date?"
"It wasn't a date, sir. He invited me to dinner, and I accepted. I don't know why. I thought he was being kind."
"Uh huh... Have you ever had a sexual encounter with a man before?" Well, that was blunt! He just stared at me, as if this was an everyday question. Of course it is! Nice weather we're having. I like your shoes. Have you ever had a sexual encounter with a man before?
"No, I haven't," I replied.
"And a woman?" What the hell? I couldn't read his eyes behind his mirrored sunglasses and thick mustache.
"No. Look, should I speak with a lawyer?" I asked, getting annoyed.
"I don't see why.. You're only 17, right? You're still a minor. Anyway, these are just preliminary questions." He seemed to be getting a little nervous. This felt wrong. Surely I had the right to an attorney. I started to stand. "Sit down!" he yelled. "I've got one man god damn dead, killed by a boy you spoke with today and a god damn child molester that you were with! Now y'all sit your ass down or we're going to have a problem!" What was his problem?
"I'm sorry sir," I said, "but I will not answer anything else until I speak with an attorney." The pig crossed his arms, clutching himself, and turned bright red.
"Listen here, you little faggot! You are a prime suspect in my book! You probably ASKED for it! I'm so close to god damn taking you in for tampering with evidence.."
"What the hell!" I screamed. "I don't care who you are. I have done nothing wrong. And I haven't touched any of your evidence!" Just then, Lara walked into the room. We were still at the school, in a teacher's office during this interview.
"What's going on here?" she asked.
"This is confidential, lady. We don't need no nosy jigaboos butting in." I looked up at her with pride. I realized that she would forever be on Devon and my side. She would not falter in her care and love. She pulled out her badge. I never knew she had it.
"Ok asshole, this is Agent 582F. You can check my papers if you still have a job at the end of the day. Have you advised him of an attorney?" The pig started to sweat. I could almost smell it.
I decided to answer for him. "No, he didn't. He said I was a minor and didn't need one." Lara looked dead into his eyes. He must have been sweating buckets.
"Ben honey," Lara said, "could you step outside with Devon? My friend here, Officer.." She glanced at his name tag and continues, "Howard and I are going to have a nice chat on ethics and other things." She smiled and shooed me out.
As I walked out, I was greeted by an angel. He looked up and smiled. I wondered how he knew it was me if he was blind. I later learned that he recognized people by their footsteps. Apparently, a person's footstep pattern is as unique as his or her finger print. "Hello, my dear," he said, smiling.
"Hello, Devon," I said, floating on the clouds. God, you can go through shit, but when you're in love, it doesn't even matter. I quickly looked and saw no one around, so I gave Devon a quick kiss on the cheek. I then thought, you can do better than that, so my lips soon met his. As our tongues intertwined, I felt a warmth inside of me. I knew that what I was doing was right, and no matter what holier-than-thou people cry, loving a man is the most wonderful, pure, and perfect thing on earth.
We must have been kissing for a long time, because I soon heard the handle of the door slide open. Devon heard it first, of course, so he quickly broke the kiss, mouthing the words "thank you." I squeezed his hand and smiled. He grinned as only a man in love can. I put my arm around Devon and said, "You know, I don't want to do this, but I think I should call my father." He didn't know my father, luckily. Hopefully, he would never have to.
****************************
(As told by Devon)
Why is Ben so worried, I wondered. He had nearly been raped, and what his only fear was talking to his father. That just didn't make any sense. We walked into his room, and he started dialing up his father. He seemed to be breathing heavily. "Put on some music, my dear," I suggested, "It may help to calm you." I could feel him smiling at me, and I soon heard the introduction to Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring begin to play. Ben cleared his throat nervously. I sighed a lover's sigh. It's funny the thousand of little nuances that you notice a person makes when you are in love.
"Ummm, Mr. Johnny Dowling, please," Ben said nervously.
"It's ok, Ben," I soothed, "It'll be ok." I felt his hand touch mine, and I squeezed his in support. I wanted him to know that I would always be there for him, blind or not. I felt his lips gently caress the top of my hand. Even a gesture as simple as a kiss made me smile with joy. Ben was certainly something to behold. Ben sat down next to me on the bed, waiting on hold. I rested my face against the front of his shoulder, glad to be able to share these special moments with one that I knew completed me. Ben began to run his fingers through my hair. I don't know if he's ever realized how much that soothes me. And I have a feeling that it soothes him, too. His hand began to drop running over my arms. He began to squeeze my bicep. I felt his body move, and his lips kissed my bicep. I smiled. He just smiled softly, laughing quietly. His hands began to run lower, over the rest of my arm, over the palm of my hand, gently touching my fingertips. He was raising goosebumps. In addition to having an increased sense of hearing, my sense of touch was markedly overdeveloped. And the things Ben could do with his fingers! His fingers seemed to wait a moment before they gained courage and ran over my leg, around the outside of it, and then at the knee, he ran them around the inside of my thigh. I sighed deeply, and moaned slightly. Just as he was about to reach what I believe his fingers were searching for-
"Oh.. oh hello. Yes, father. It's me. I know you're busy. Yes, I know you told me never to call. Look, could you.." he seemed to be close to weeping. I put my arms around him and hugged him tightly. Somehow, he got a power that he didn't know he had. "Look, I don't care about your stocks. Listen to me for once. Then you don't have to hear my voice again!" he yelled. "There was a child molester at this school, and he tried to rape me. Luckily, I was saved. What the fuck? What do mean my queer ass deserved it? How can you say that to me? I'm your son, god damn it! What? Well, that's ok. I know you don't give a shit. I have better things in my life, anyway! I've found someone who loves me for who I am. And HE and I are very happy. So go trade your stocks. I don't give a fuck! You can go to hell!" Ben yelled, slamming down the phone.
I held Ben tightly. He began to gently weep. I rubbed his back, trying to show my support. "I love you, Ben," I said softly, "and I'd never do that to you." He was sniffing softly. "I will always love you, Ben." With that, he burst into tears, clutching me tightly, hugging what he knew would not falter, ever. Me, and our undying love. "Shhh," I soothed, "it will be ok."
Tearily he looked up at me. I don't think he was smiling, but he did let out a sarcastic laugh. "I hate to disillusion you, my dear," he said between soft sniffles, "but I don't exactly have a steady source of income. I'm pretty much fucked." I understood what he meant all too clearly. However, there were some details that he didn't know about me.
I was feeling terribly naughty, so I thought I'd tease him a bit. "No, that will be me tonight." I think that made him smile. I kissed him gently on the brow.
"You are so naughty!" he said, finally laughing with happiness. The next thing I knew, he was tickling me. I happen to be a terribly ticklish person, so I started giggling like a little girl. I was almost at the point of shrieking when he paused. He was hovering on top of me, his arms on either side of me. I felt his hot breath brush against my face. I also felt another hot thing pressing against my stomach.
****************************
I stood there, right over Devon, staring down at his beautiful, gorgeous face. His red hair was a mess; some of it lay gently on the pillow beneath him. Though I know he couldn't see a thing, his eyes seemed to stare right into mine. We must have laid there for a very long time, because I heard my Stravinsky CD shut off. I glanced at my CD player and looked down again at Devon, smiling. He had made me forget my problems and bleak future in just a moment. My sweet, sweet Devon.
I heard his sigh gently, and then I felt his arms wrap around me. He pulled me down into him. I was worried that I would crush him, but he didn't seem the least bit worried. Our lips met again, and I remembered how sweet he is- inside and out. Our tongues danced together in a mad ballet of love and lust. We were rubbing our bodies together, and I could feel that he was as excited as I. In between our kisses, somehow he and I had managed to lose our shirts. I sat up, resting on him. I looked down at my pathetic frame, embarrassed. Then I remembered that he was blind. I terrible thing to be glad of, but I was. Devon seemed to sense this, but ran his hands over my chest , over my ugly body.
"You are beautiful," he said softly. I looked down, ashamed. How could I be so heartless as to celebrate my lover's most ultimate defeat? I looked up again. Had I just thought that? Yes, lover. We were lovers. Devon ran his hands down my body and over my pants, stopping at my hips. He became brave and his hands joined, feeling me. His hands now knew what he did to me. My beautiful Devon. He squeezed my most private part, grinned, and licked his lips. "Almost edible," he said laughing to himself. I smiled, that smile of love that only he can bring, and laughed too, though silently. Devon's arms again embraced me. "Ben," he started. I looked at him and silently asked hmm? "I want to make love. I want to feel whole for the first time in my life. I want my insides to feel you, and you to feel every inch of me. I want what I've waited sixteen and three quarter years for. I want to make love with the man that I know loves me.
I again leaned down on top of him, and we rolled over on the bed. Now he was on top of me. I hoped he wasn't uncomfortable.. I wanted this to be so perfect.. "What's wrong?" he asked, breaking my reverie.
My arms embraced him and pushed his head down, making his lips join mine. His lips were sweeter than anything I had known. His mouth opened, and I felt him again suck my tongue into his mouth. We moaned inside of each other's mouth, not wanting this kiss to end. Unfortunately, that scientific law that states that you need oxygen to survive prevailed, and we broke the kiss, gasping for air. Devon moaned softly. I finally answered his question. "Nothing's the matter. Everything is just right." He smiled and kissed down my cheek and over my neck, sending tingles down my spine. His tongue stuck out and gently began to lick circles around my neck. I was in heaven. Then his hands slid down under my pants, under my boxers. His fingers felt the tip of my hard penis.
"Ben," Devon whispered seductively, "reach into both of my back pockets. Lara left me two gifts for tonight." I smiled, and reached in. Any reason to have my hands on Devon's perfect butt was good enough for me! But there was something is each pocket. After some nice butt-squeezing, which Devon seemed to enjoy, I pulled out two condoms from his right cheek and a small bottle of some lubricant called Astroglide from his left. "What did she give us?" he asked.
"Condoms and lube," I said laughing. Devon groaned in disgust.
"I told her I didn't need or want them. If I wanted latex in me, I would have bought a dildo." He thought about that a moment and then continued, "Well, maybe not. But still, I don't want them. I want to feel you.. as you are... inside of me."
"But Devon," I protested, "I don't want to infect you." I had been taught for so long about being so careful.
"And who have you slept with?" he inquired.
"No one," I defensively replied.
"Exactly," he said, "And obviously neither have I. I mean, look at me. The freak.."
"No," I protested.
"So we're both safe," he concluded. "And I know you won't cheat on me, and there's no way I could cheat on you." He smiled and kissed me quickly. I smiled. Who could argue with something so beautiful and, well, right? "I want to taste it before it's inside of me," he stated. We quickly helped ourselves out of our pants. And then there we were.. naked body against naked body. I'm sorry Michelangelo, but your statue of David just can't compare. The world's greatest gift lay on top of me, full of love for me, and only me.
I saw Devon grin at me sheepishly, and then he had me inside of his mouth. I stroked his soft hair and cooed, "I want to taste you, too." Begrudgingly, Devon turned around so that I could have access to his most perfect of parts. There, laying above me was one of man's wonders. And it was all mine. Mine for a lifetime. His member was a fine seven inches. His sweet testicles were lightly haired with delicious red pubic hair. I licked my lips in anticipation, and ran my tongue over his sweet orbs. With the encoragement, Devon decided to go down much deeper on me. However, he went too deep. I heard his gag.
"God Ben," he said, "How big are you?" I chuckled and responded by squeezing his tight, smooth ass and swallowing his gift into my mouth. He sighed in pleasure and decided to continue his handiwork... or is that his oral communication lesson? If my speech teacher could see us now, I though. I think we were mastering our oral communication quite well. I swallowed as much of his hot member as possible while squeezing his cheeks, pulling him into my mouth. His soft red pubic hair was tickling my chin. I smiled, or as much as one can smile in such a predicament. (And don't you even dare to think of a pun for that!) My finger began to become adventurous as it crept over towards his sweet hole. He had never been touched there. Not by me, not another man, no one. Though very reluctant to let go of his sweet cheeks, which seem to always beg for my hands to caress them, I squirted some Astroglide on my fingertips and for the first time in Devon's life, a part of me went inside of him.
After my finger first entered him, Devon grunted in pain. I left it there for a few moments and let him get used to it. "Another," he softly whispered, "another." I filled his request, filling him with two of my fingers. He shuddered as it pressed into him. I began to slowly move my fingers in and out of him. "Ben," he whispered again, "it's time." He licked my penis until he was sure that it was hard enough and got on top of me. He was going to sit on me... take it at his own pace. He took a deep sigh, as if to say here goes! and lowered himself onto me.
I kept breathing softly but deeply as I felt him lower himself on me. As the tip of my penis punctured his tight, untouched hole, he shivered and stayed there a moment. It must have been an amusing sight indeed: me laying there, almost writhing with excitement, and he, my redheaded angel, in a sitting position above me, his strong arms holding him up. He looked almost like a primate walking with both its feet and the knuckles of its hands. This thought was quickly thrown away as my hands went up his smooth chest. My fingers danced over his abdomen, my forefinger tickling his navel.
I ran my hands higher, running up his ribcage, landing on his pectoral muscles and my fingers finding his sweet nipples. His muscles were not bulky, thank goodness. Not that it mattered, really. I loved and love Devon for who he is, not for his body. But his body was certainly not something to complain about. It was, in my mind, perfect. His pectoral muscles were not flat (or nonexistant, rather!) as mine were. But he wasn't a body builder. You might have been able to make out his chest if he had on a very tight shirt, but only then. My Devon wasn't a gym rat. No, Devon was a man, a beautiful man. And he was all mine.
Devon gasped, and he loosened his sphincter, pulling more of me into him. He kept doing this, very slowly. I closed my eyes in pleasure, and before I knew it, I could feel his soft, sweet testicles resting on my belly. For some reason though, I couldn't feel his penis. I opened my eyes to see a very hard but beautiful part of Devon pointing at an almost ninety degree angle. I licked my lips in anticipation. I wanted to taste him; I needed him in my mouth. But I'm just not that flexible!
I removed my hands from Devon's chest and went down to touch his mouth-watering cock. But he took hold of my hands and put them around his back, breathlessly saying, "No, we can save more of that for later." I smiled and sat up, kissing him gently. But my passion was too strong. I leaned forward and began kissing him with a strength that I had never known of. My lips pressed to his and I felt something that I never knew I'd feel: unrequited love. My tongue entered his mouth, and I knew where I wanted to be for the rest of my life: with Devon.
I don't know whose arms squeezed around the other's body first, but we embraced as if it were our last day on earth. I leaned forward and continued to kiss my sweet with my tongue. My kiss told him how much I loved him, and that he had no need to feel alone ever again.
Before I knew it, I realized that somehow Devon was now on his back and that I was on top of him, still kissing him. Devon broke the kiss for an instant to whisper in my ear, "Fuck me." I moaned softly. He had found one of my more sensitive spots. I couldn't see him, but I swear, he must have grinned. A moment later, I felt my lover's hot, wet tongue enter my ear, licking it all over, driving me wild with passion. I couldn't take it any more. As he continued his attack, I began to thrust in and out of his tight hole. His arms and his sphincter clutched me tighter, not wanting this to ever end. I thrust in and out of him. His hot penis was still hard, and my stomach rubbed across it each time I went in and out of him.
Devon stopped attacking my ear and lay back. He was moaning softly. "I never knew," he panted, "that I could feel this good. I love you, Ben." I looked at him and slowed my stroke, smiling. Before I could reply my love, I felt his legs wrench around the small of my back as he demanded, "Don't you dare stop now! Make love to me... Put your seed in me. Please. I want to be one with you... Fuck me." I leaned my head forward and enveloped his tongue into my mouth. I began to pump my eight inch cock in and out of him faster. I wanted to give him all that he asked and more. As we madly kissed, I could hear him moan.
He was so tight, hot, and wet inside that it was unbelievable. It was almost like a moist velvet grip on my hard cock at body temperature. Every few strokes, I felt it clamp down on me. It was funny, because as his legs flexed, so did his sweet insides. The pleasure that he was giving me was unbelievable. I knew that sex was going to be great, but when Devon and I made love, it was unlike anything else. It wasn't simply the amazing feelings that he gave my body, but the fact that he loved me accentuated it tenfold.
My penis began to throb. I was getting close, and Devon knew it. His legs began to pull me in and out of him rapidly. His legs were guiding my body. He wanted it, and he wanted it now. I put my arms a few inches from his shoulders on both sides of his bodies and fucked him like he wanted it. I shoved in and out of him, moaning loudly. Even the bed began to squeak. I began to make love to him with a mad desire, my cock thrusting in and out of his tight hole at an amazing rate. You could hear the unmistakable sound of sex as we made love, our juices making that squishing sound. I managed to give him about ten more strokes, and then I pushed myself deeper in him than I thought possible. I moaned as I came deep inside of my lover. He moaned loudly too, and his anus clamped down on me harder than it had before. I felt his warm seed spurt onto our stomachs. I looked into his beautiful eyes and kissed him until we fell asleep, holding each other, never to be alone again.
Part XIII.
(As told by Devon)
I groaned softly, awakening to a new day. I let out a snort as my body attempted to regain what it so dearly wanted: sleep! I turned around in my bed, only to feel a warm hand on my side. Had it been a dream? Or was it... was it all real? Last night really happened? I ran my hand over the thin arm that was over my hip. I felt up the arm, onto the chest, and then the face. Oh yes, that face. It was real! I sighed in pure joy.
I guess I was being silly, but my mind had told me that it must have been a dream. It was too perfect... every moment of last night was etched in my mind, never to be erased. I had found comfort; I had beauty; I had found joy. But most importantly, I had found love. I pressed my lips into his sleeping face, drawing yet another of the millions of kisses that we would share.
Ben yawned loudly, and I felt his arms and legs stretch as he awoke. Phew! When he exhaled his yawn, it smashed into my face like a tomato thrown at a bad performer. Morning breath! Oh well.. some Crest would soon kill that problem. "Good morning, dear," he said sleepily.
"Good morning, sir," I said, smiling.
"God, that British accent is sooooo sexy!" he said, tickling the bottom of my chin.
I smiled and retorted, "Ben, I love you, but you're full of shit. This accent is far from sexy. Yet another way to make me an outcast..." I was feeling sorry for myself again. But Ben always had a way of smacking sense into me.
"Well I don't give a crap what you say," he said laughing, "I think it's sexy!" And with that, he gave me a light good morning kiss.
I felt him lean in for another, but I stopped him. "No no no!" I teased, "Not another until you've brushed your teeth!"
"Well you aren't exactly morning fresh, either, sweets!" Ben replied, laughing. I smacked him. But I couldn't resist. My mouth was soon kissing the spot I had just smacked. He was so adorable. I then thought, yes, I think I'll keep him! I ran my fingers over his lips, and felt him grin. "Hey," he suggestively said, "Let's shower together!"
"Why you little pervert!" I quietly said, grinning.
"Whoi yhes," he said, imitating my accent, "I ahm quoite theh lit-tle pah-vaht!"
I grinned even broader as I squeezed his morning bulge. "Not quite that little!" I kissed him quickly on the cheek and said, "Bring your ear down here. I have a secret to tell you." He did so, and I licked the inside of his ear. He was moaning my name madly. I squeezed his bulge, and noticed that it had gotten larger. My tongue was buried deep inside his ear, and he was moaning even more loudly now. His hands were caressing my bum, and had run his fingers inside the crack. When he went to massage my anus, I yelped, "Ouch!"
Suddenly he was off of me. He asked in alarm, "Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" He was very concerned. I just kissed him on the lips and hugged him.
"I'm just a bit sore, Ben. You're quite large for a guy that's six feet and three inches." I squeezed him tightly. "Now what about that shower?" Ben started to take my hand and lead me to the shower, but he paused. I guess he was noticing my penthouse for the first time.
"What the fuck?" he said, half in amazement, half in laughter. "Jesus, you didn't tell me you were rich! A friggin' kitchen? With a full-size refrigerator? I've got a prison cell, you have Trump Towers!"
"I've been there," I answered, bored out of my mind, "It's not that great. I guess if you could see, it would mean a bit more..." He startle chuckling. "Anyway, your room will soon be unoccupied! I expect a full-time roommate!" Ben kissed me on the cheek and led me to the shower. The nice hot water began to spray on us almost instantaneously.
"So your dad's loaded, I take it?" he asked, mainly making conversation.
"Loaded? Well, yes, we're fairly well off. Fifteen to twenty million, depending on the stock market." Ben seemed to choke on the water.
"Million?" he repeated.
"Well, yes," I said, shrugging. Financial assets had never mattered to me. "But most of it is paper money, I believe." Ben began to soap up my naked body. I had always been so self-conscious. That's why I insisted that I take showers on my own. But I certainly didn't mind this.. My mind was wandering. "I think he has another five million in savings somewhere, but that's for emergencies. It's savings he kept from before..." With that, I started to cry. Memories, such memories...
Ben held me tightly and whispered, "It's OK, baby." With that, he kissed me. I embraced him tightly and returned the kiss tenfold. His hands wandered down to my bum, and he squeezed it tightly. This excited me, so I ground my hips into his. I could feel him getting hard. It always made me feel good when I thought about it. This was getting hard for me, and it was all mine to cherish for a lifetime.
I got down on my knees and held his meat with my hand. I stroked it up and down excitedly. This big thing was inside of me last night. We had shared what no else could have. I stuck my tongue out and licked the head. Ben moaned in pleasure. With that, I opened wide, and swallowed whole. Ben moaned loudly in pleasure. I felt his hands clasp the back of my head, pulling me into him. I felt his pubic hairs tickle my nose. I giggled.. as well as you can giggle with an eight inch cock down your throat! I was enjoying this so much that I felt something start to raise. I lowered my hands to my damp but far from soft dick, and and began to stroke.
Suddenly Ben stopped moaning. I could almost feel his eyes gazing down at me. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked accusingly.
"What?" I innocently asked, trying to protect my honor.
"What do you think you're doing?" he repeated. "You're going to waste that lovely gift when you have a mouth that has yet to have its breakfast sausage?" he said, trying to be serious, but ending up in giggles. I laughed in response. But I decided I had better make good use of my time. I enveloped his cock into my mouth again, and sucked like there was no tomorrow. After five minutes of my insistence, I was graced with la creme de la Ben.
****************************
Jamie looked at Tommy with love in his eyes. They were laying on Tommy's bed, arms around each other. "What do you think they're doing now?" Jamie quietly asked, never breaking his eye contact.
"Who?" asked Tommy, almost surprised by Jamie's sudden break of the sweet silence. Jamie was such a quiet guy...
"Devon and Ben," he said, smiling.
"Fucking like rabbits, no doubt!" Tommy said, laughing. "Like we just were," he continued, grinning widely.
"Do you think we should let them know about the reporters?" Jamie asked, almost concerned.
"Well, let's give them a few more minutes," Tommy said, smiling.
* Back in the shower.... *
Devon was almost screaming in pleasure as my lips wrapped around his smooth, white, cock. I playfully licked underneath the head and then circled it with my tongue. But Devon would have none of this teasing. He thrust himself into my hungry mouth. His red pubes rubbed my nose. I grinned. His hair was so sexy. Such a small detail on such a perfect person, but it just added to his unending beauty. I stopped for a moment. No, he wasn't perfect. No one is, was, or will ever be. But he was mine. He loved me and I loved him, and we were willing to share it all. And that was enough for me.
Devon drew my attention back to what was important by moaning, "Oh Ben.. suck me.. please.." Oh god, everything about him was sexy. The light freckles that adorned his legs, covered by an almost nonexistent patch of light red hairs. His perfect ass, smooth and always begging to be squeezed. Devon started to fuck my face, slowly at first, and then faster. My hands grabbed Devon's perfect butt and began to squeeze it. I loved the feel of them in my hand: they fit almost perfectly.
Without thinking, my finger began to massage his anus again. This time, however, he didn't mind. Perhaps the water had soothed his pain. Perhaps the moment had overtaken him. Whichever it was, he backed himself onto my probing finger and then thrust into my mouth. He kept repeating this motion. He seemed to be enjoying it slightly. Between moans, he muttered, "Use two.. fingers.." I obliged, which caused him to moan louder. He seemed to be enjoying this greatly, because I felt him grow thicker in my mouth. I knew that he was getting very close. He began a high pitched moan. "Oh Ben.. Oh Ben.." he softly muttered. "I love you.." he said. With that, his penis enlarged more, and started shooting out his sweet cream. He shot out about five spurts before collapsing down to the ground, holding me tightly.
He embraced me, and our kiss was as intense as always. His tongue darted in my mouth, dancing with my own. I pulled him closed to me, which let him feel my returned erection. He grinned, and sat up slightly as he tried to mount my throbbing member. "Just think," he said sweetly, "every day we will have this. Every day we can make love. Every day we can walk around, knowing that we are not alone.. ever again." With that, he attempted to pull me inside of him. He winced in pain as my head entered his hungry, but still painful hole. "But maybe we can wait until I have had time to heal," he said laughing. I smiled at him hugged him tightly. I loved him so much.
I kissed him on his sweet lips and said, "We should finish this before the hot water runs out." We kissed again, and he acquiesced. I picked him up, and we quickly finished our shower. As we walked into his kitchen, dripping water, the phone rang. Devon made that tsk tsk sound, which he later taught me was called a tut.
He picked up the phone and sharply asked, "What?" His mood soon changed. "Oh Tommy.. thank you so much.. I am so in your debt!" He was actually weeping. "You have given me the greatest gift ever... You have given me Ben." He started sniffing. After a pause, his mood changed again. "What? There are? My lord. Well, I guess we'll have to face the crowds... yes, thank you for letting me know!" Devon slammed down the phone, but not before I noticed that there wasn't a number pad on it. What the hell, I thought. Devon waved his hands in the air until he came in contact with me. He kissed my shoulder and said softly, "We need to get dressed, dear. We have a big day.. You mainly. They won't be interested in me, I don't think." I looked at him curiously and shrugged. We walked to the dresser by his bed and picked out clothes for the day. Well, Devon did. I wore the same ones I had the previous day. Clothes that fit someone 5'10" don't work too well on someone else 6'3", I thought, smiling.
I looked over at Devon and had to stifle a laugh. "Devon dear," I asked, "does Lara usually pick out your clothes?"
"Yes," he responded. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I imagine it's rather hard to find matching clothes when you're blind... Here, let me help you." I started picking up clothes that I thought he would look good in.
Devon paused a beat and then asked, "I hate to ask, but.. what exactly am I wearing?"
I started to giggle. "Well, for starters, you have on a fuscia shirt. Over that you have a blue sport coat. And you are also wearing white jeans and black socks." I started laughing uncontrollably. I managed to control myself, and threw matching clothes at him. "Try those on, sweets." I kissed him on the cheek as I walked to the door. "I'm going to go downstairs. Maybe Tommy, Jamie, you and I can meet up." I walked out the room as he said to himself, "I doubt it."
I gasped as I reached the bottom floor. Since Devon had his suite upstairs, there was an elevator. I suppose it was required for handicapped people. As the elevatored chimed, signaling that I had arrived at my destination, I looked out of the glass doors that allowed one to leave the lobby and go outside. I had seen Cecil B. DeMille's pictures, but it was nothing compared to this. Outside was a horde. And none of them belonged at this school. All of them.. reporters and policemen. "What the fuck!" I yelled. With that, I felt Lara's hand on my arm. I looked over at her. She had her arms crossed after I turned to look at her. She had one of those mother looks on her face. "Oh," I said thoughtlessly, "I didn't mean to swear."
"Bullshit!" she exclaimed. I smiled. "You better be careful today, honey. Them reporters will do anything for a story.. even if it means killing your honor." I looked at her, perplexed. Then I turned to look at the glass in horror. As if someone had ripped out the dam, it happened. One of them spotted me. There was screaming, and suddenly a tide of nosy bastards ran into the lobby. The flood surrounded me, attempting to drown me. So much noise.. It was giving me a headache! Did they actually think I could hear their questions? Each was trying to yell louder than the next, but all it did was annoy me. And then came the microphones. They shoved them in my face. Pictures were flashing. That's it...
"STOP!" I screamed. The room went silent. They all stared at me in shock. I sighed in relief. "Now," I said slowly, "I will answer your questions.. ONE AT A TIME! However, I'm not going to spend all day on this. Plus, I'm sure you have more interesting things to do," I said. They must have agreed with me, because the reporters began flipping through their appointment books. I exhaled and then pointed to a reporter in the back. "Okay, you first."
"Did you know that Dennis Mordrin was a child molester?" I rolled my eyes at that one. Yeah, that's why I spoke with him. Pedophiles just turn me on. As if!
"No." I pointed to another. "You?"
"How long have you been going to this school?"
Thank goodness. A normal question. "A little over a month. My father enrolled me in the middle of the semester. You?"
"Are you aware that Dan Vichosone also murdered your history teacher?" Well, they got what they wanted on camera, apparently. My eyes must have bulged out of my sockets. No, it couldn't be. Not Dan.. He was a violent bastard, but he wouldn't do that... would he?
"What?!" I exclaimed. Cameras started clicking away. They love trauma.
"Are you also aware that your father stated that you have been disowned because you are, and I quote, a faggot?" I just stared at him blankly. "Is it also true that you have had prior sexual encounters with Mr. Mordrin? Did you also try to seduce some other students into your sexual deviancy? Were you also actively working with the skinheads to burn bibles?" I answered nothing but become more and more angry.
The reports were muttering to themselves, thinking up exotic ways to tell this new story. The reporters had returned to screaming unanswerable questions. Cell phones were ringing off the hook. I felt my face turning bright red. "Look," I finally answered, "if you must know, YES, I AM GAY. And no, I never had sex with any teachers here. I have never even thought of burning any book -" Lara grabbed a microphone.
"Look boys, I know you're looking for a story. There isn't anything that interesting here. Interview Dan. I'm sure he'll give you explosive news."
The news reporters stared at her for a moment, and then quickly filed away. I looked at Lara and smiled. "Thank you so much.." I started.
"You better watch your ass! Especially when Devon's around!" Lara then snapped her fingers and walked off. Lara was such an awesome woman.
I gasped as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Tommy's grinning face. "Gee, that looked fun!" he said, laughing. I glared at him. In the distance, I saw Jamie run up to him. They kissed gently. Then they realized that they were in public, and withdrew. Jamie blushed a deep crimson. "I can't believe I just did that..." he said softly. I just smiled at him, and put my hand on his shoulder. Then my fingers moved over to his neck, tickling him as if there were no tomorrow. "Stop!" he said in between giggles. Tommy was retaliating, and we were soon rolling on the group, laughing hysterically.
"Straying so soon?" an unbelievably sexy voice called out. I looked up to see Devon's gorgeous red hair sparkle in the sun. I jumped up and wrapped my arms around him. I kissed him lightly on the lips, grinning.
"Never." I answered. Then I went in and began kissing him again without abandon.
"Get a room!" Jamie called out. I looked out at the normally reserved boy and stuck my tongue out at him.
"You're just jealous!" I yelled, still smiling. My hand was rubbing Devon's back. God, every inch of him was sexy...
"I don't think so, hon." Jamie retorted. "I have the best ass in the world right here!" he said winking at me, as he squeezed Tommy's hind end.
"I don't know," I said, "I think Tommy has some competition.." I said, massaging Devon's soft, sweet, smooth and milky cheeks. I swear, Devon was blushing. I just kissed him on the lips. Of course, once I was attached to something so perfect, I couldn't let him escape with just a little kiss. Our tongues were soon battling each other, passionately dancing. Devon was soon moaning loudly, his arms tightly folded around me. My hands again began to wander down to his ass, massaging it. Devon must have been happy to see me... I felt something nice and hard rubbing against my thigh. Devon ran his foot up my leg in his excitement. I was somewhat aware of Tommy and Jamie trying to grab our attention, but I was too enraptured to notice.
The next thing, I knew, I heard a throat clear. I broke away from my sweet Devon to see a slightly heavy man with red hair and a thick red mustache. He was wearing a business suit, and had black sunglasses on. He eyed me and then looked at Devon. He seemed to notice Devon's... pre-dick-ament. He smiled kindly. "Well, my dear," he said, "I see that you've gotten yourself... a friend... and a partner, all in one. And how you've grown! Definitely not a boy anymore!"
Devon gasped for a moment before saying with alarm, "Father!"
Part XIV.
If we were playing twenty questions, we must have been in round 500 at least! Devon's father was asking me questions left and right, and I was almost having trouble keeping up. I found it almost flattering, in a way. He asked about my past; he asked about my future. He asked about my dreams and aspirations, and he asked about my father. I wish he had strayed from that subject. I really had no feelings for that man, but still, it hurt to know that the man who once demanded that I call him father now demanded that I call him nothing at all.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Garley, but I..." I paused for a moment and sighed. "My father and I are no longer speaking... ever again." Devon placed a sympathetic, and yet loving hand, upon my own.
Mr. Garley smiled at me kindly and said, "Please, Ben. Call me Jack." I shuddered for a moment, remembering how a sick man had requested that I address him by his first name as well.
Jack noted my reaction with concern. "I'm sorry, lad. I'm asking too much after your ordeal... I still can't believe.. how could anyone be that sick?"
With that, Devon protectively wrapped his arms around me and kissed me gently on the lips. He buried his head into my shoulder and wept softly. Between his tears, he said, "I love you."
Jack smiled at me happily as if he had never felt so fulfilled. "Just answer me one thing, young lad. Will you be good to my boy? You see, I lost Sandra to the fire... and I almost lost Devon," he said, his voice becoming softer, "And I can't bear the thought of losing him. I see the love in your eyes.. in both of your eyes. I know that what you have is real. That's what Sandra and I had." He smiled at me and continued, "You better be good to my boy. He's all I have."
I looked Jack straight in the eyes and said, "And he's all I have. I will never leave Devon's side." Jack smiled and patted my hand, stepping away from the table we were sitting at, trying to hide his tears.
Jack came back a few minutes later with reddened eyes. "Your lives won't be easy, you know." I looked deep into Jack's eyes and told him how much determination I had without moving a muscle. "Devon's life is hard without..." he paused, looking for the words.
"Because I don't follow the path that people want me to take? Because I know who I am and who I love?" Devon answered for him. Jack just looked down towards the table and nodded quietly.
"You know, no matter how much money I have, and how many people use my switches with pride, I... It doesn't matter anymore. I've been shirking away from something much more important than networking hardware and dollars... I've been hiding from you... Afraid of what might happen.. and not wanting to think that you could leave me like Sandra did... You know, when they first told me you were blind, deep down inside I wished that they hadn't saved you." Jack was crying now, looking at a son who would never be able to look back. "But Devon, I don't feel that way anymore. I look at you and I see what you have become. You are a wonderful son, a courageous fighter, and a great example of what man should be struggling to achieve. I don't want to lose this, son. And it had to take something like this... for me to realize how precious each moment is." Devon was smiling softly. I excused myself and left the restaurant, giving two hearts some time to mend. I looked at the outside of the Italian restaurant that I had been dining in, and suddenly realized that this was the same restaurant that Mordrin took me to my first night here. How times have changed.
****************************
(As told by Devon)
Father took my hand in his and began to softly weep. "Why did it take you so long to tell me this?"
"Come now," he said in between tears, "How often does a Garley admit when he's wrong?" With that, he patted my hand condescendingly.
"Not often enough." I replied, perhaps a bit too bitterly.
Father sighed to himself, and decided to change the subject. "Do you love him?" he asked quietly.
"Do I love him?" I repeated. "That's not even a question. We barely know each other, but... but he's a part of me already. I know, it's weird. I can't explain it, but when I breathe, it's almost as if my breath is for him. I can't imagine living life without him now that we are together. I know you don't approve of my so-called choice, but that's what it is. And it's not even a choice. It's something that must be.. Something that I could never forgive myself for not taking. Dad.. he is like an extension of me."
"I know," is all that he replied.
"By the way," I went on, sighing deeply, "Thank you for putting on the tolerance show earlier. I think Ben actually believed that you were proud of me. ..For being who I am. But we both know the truth. That's why I'm here, isn't it? To free you from the fag?"
"Stop that!" my father hissed. "You want a Garley to admit when he's wrong?" There was a moment of silence, and then my father said, "Ok. Well here it is, I was wrong. About a lot of things. It's taken a long time to get over your mother's death... but I think I've finally grown up. I've missed so many years of your life, but I'm not going to miss any more. I'm here for you now, son. No jokes. No BS. I'm here."
"And what about Ben?" I said, a little surprised.
"Well, he better be there for you, too, or I'll sic Lara on his ass." I giggled at the thought. Suddenly, I felt him pulling my arm up from the table. I stood up and hugged my father tightly. He was finally back. The father that I had known and loved for so long.
"Dad?" I said while my face was buried in his arm.
"Yes?"
"Let's get out of here before the cheese police come here and arrest us!" My father laughed heartily as we walked to the counter and paid the bill. We walked outside the restaurant, and I felt arms grab around me the moment I stepped out the door. "What the hell!" I yelled in surprise. I soon felt Ben's skin against mine, and felt safe again. "I love you, Ben." I said softly to him. With that, I stepped away from his warm embrace, and yelled, "I love Benjamin Dowling!" at the top of my lungs. With that, I grabbed him in my arms and gave his tongue a battle so fierce he didn't have time to even moan in response.
Ben laughed and response and said, "You're such a nut!" I soon heard the crazed questions of reporters, and distinctive sounds of cameras. One person yelled above the crowd, "Would you like to give a statement?"
Feeling higher than a kite, I responded, "Oh fuck off! Don't you have anything better to do? My lover and I are going home. Thank you." With that, Ben escorted me into my dad's car, and we zoomed away. God I love him!
Part XV.
(I didn't experience this, but it was later related to me.)
Tommy looked lovingly at Jamie and lovingly stroked his hair. "What do you think they're doing now?" Tommy asked.
Jamie sat up with a start, his body weight supported by his elbow. "Why are you always asking about them? Sometimes I think you want him." Jamie squeezed his eyes shut in pain. "And I can't stand to have that thought in my mind."
Tommy smiled kindle and kissed Jamie's hand. "No honey, Ben is my friend. I guess I'm just kind of in awe of him. He's just the kind of person I'd like to be. I wish I had his balls."
Jamie grinned wickedly and fondled Tommy's freely hanging testicles. "No, they're fine just as they are. You are just right." Tommy smiled back and kissed Jamie tenderly, pulling Jamie's smaller frame on top of him. Tommy ran his hands over Jamie's smooth back, going lower and lower, finally squeezing his buttocks. "You never get enough, do you?" Jamie said, grinning. Tommy shook his head no and then gently nibbled on Jamie's neck. "Do you remember how we first met?" Jamie asked.
"Yes, I do." Tommy responded. "It seems like it was so long ago, you know? But it was what, a little over a month ago?" Tommy snorted in laughter, recalling the moment he first saw Jamie. "Yeah, it was after the game. We lost, and I was feeling pretty shitty. I decided that I'd take a swim to get rid of the tension. So I walk to the natetorium. And there I see the most beautiful boy in the whole world. They talk love at first sight, you know? Well it's all bullshit. I didn't love you then. It was lust at first sight. But what a sight it was. You looked so gorgeous in those little speedos," Tommy said, his voice growing softer and more playfull, "and boy did I want to tear them off!"
"Stop!" giggled Jamie, "You'll make my head enlarge."
"There's nothing wrong with that... as long as it enlarges inside the right parts of me!" teased Tommy.
"You're such a hornball!" exclaimed Jamie, smacking Tommy playfully. "But then again," Jamie continued, as he ran his index finger down the side of Tommy's face and into Tommy's open mouth, "I wouldn't have it any other way." Jamie pulled his finger out of Tommy's mouth, which made a loud popping sound. "My, that's a familiar sound!" Tommy grinned in retort. Jamie hugged Tommy tightly and looked deeply into his eyes. "So how is it that I went from that quiet little schoolboy and changed into the man you see before you?"
"I guess I was persistent." replied Tommy. Tommy moved over on the bed and folded his arms behind his head and let out a sigh. "But seriously.. I guess it was the right things happening at the right time. Fate smiled upon us," Tommy said, smiling to himself.
"Ok, so you saw me swimming.. a skinny little guy in speedos. Keep on going. I want to know." Jamie persisted. "I remember you joined me. At first, I thought you were going to beat me up or something," Jamie said, giggling. "But then..."
"No, beating you up wasn't what I had in mind. I saw your body, scrawn and all, and I knew that that body was the complement for me. Ok, so maybe it wasn't complete lust. I didn't see you as amazingly attractive, but I saw you as something... something what was right. For once, being with someone made sense. I was feeling very nervous, you know. But I thought that this was my one chance. So I took it. I jumped in and saw you look at me nervously, swimming a little faster in the opposite direction."
"It was then that I knew I was safe, though." Jamie giggled and then said, "Your voice cracked. It was cute." Jamie grinned.
"Yeah," Tommy continued:
"Hi," I said. My voice cracked. It was horrible. I cleared my throat and tried again. "My name's Tommy. What's yours?"
"Jamie," you replied. You stopped in the water and started swimming towards me. I guess you felt safe.
"What are you doing here at this time of night?" I asked.
"My dad wants me to be on the swim team.. I guess it's the only thing I could possibly do right. But I guess it's a stupid idea." You were so self-conscious!
"I guess I was," said Jamie. "I still am.. kind of."
"You mean you're a jealous bitch?" Tommy said, laughing.
"Something like that." Jamie looked into Tommy's eyes lovingly and kissed him on the forehead. "But you tried to act kind and self-confident. I was in awe that anyone would even want to talk to me. And the fact that you were shirtless with that lickable body didn't make me any more controlled. I must have been gawking terribly."
Tommy grinned and said, "Which I didn't mind in the least bit." Jamie tutted in response.
"You can be the most narcissistic bastard on earth, you know that?" scolded Jamie. "But I love you anyway." He smiled and kissed Tommy on the cheek. "Anyway, what happened next?"
"You know what happened next!" said Tommy. Tommy continued:
I swam around you, drooling. I wanted to touch every inch of your body. But I contained myself to a degree. You eyed me oddly as I surveyed at 360 degrees of you. With that, I dove down and swam in between your legs, and felt something nice and hard touching my back. After I had swam to your front side, I went up for air. You were looking at me incredulously. "You come here often?" I asked you, laughing. You just shook your head laughing.
So we swam in that pool, talking to each other all night almost. I talked about football, and you spoke of school, and your love of Biology. As we swam, we got more daring, getting closer to each other as we passed on our laps. At one point, our skin was touching. I felt your warm body against mine. We stopped our strokes. We just looked deep into each other's eyes, taking each other in. I ran my finger over your arm, feeling your skin. You gasped in surprise. But you just stood there in the water, looking at me. You didn't say a word. I ran my hand across your back and over your opposite shoulder. I was pulling you closer to me. I was about to kiss you. I wanted to take you into me, starting with your tongue.
You closed your eyes and started to lean in. I took that as an OK, and I closed my eyes, and started to lean in as well. Our lips came closer... and closer... and suddenly, we heard the loud squeaking of the outer doors to the natetorium swing open. Luckily they were the shaded doors, so no one saw anything. But I quickly opened my eyes and let you go, moving quickly away from you. Someone poked his eyes in and said, "Sorry guys, but it's time to head back to your rooms. It's almost lights out."
"Thanks," I said. My voice had cracked yet again. I saw you running towards the edge of the pool and jumping out. The stranger had left already. "Wait!" I called in fear. You looked back at me for a split second. "Could you give me some Biology tutoring?" I pathetically asked.
"Is that what this was about?" you asked. I jumped out of the water and moved next to you.
"What do you think it was about?" I said softly. You looked down, rejected and looked up. You remembered how close we were to lights out and ran away.
"Well I thought you were using me for some.. purpose!" said Jamie. "How was I to know you wanted to just get in my pants? I thought maybe you were a gay basher.. or something. Stupid, huh?"
"Not that stupid." Jamie kissed Tommy gently on the lips. "Let's make love." he pleaded, softly.
"Only if it's your balls, not Ben's," Jamie said, winking.
Tommy smiled in reply and said, "It's a deal." With that, he turned off the light.
Part XVI.
The entire school seemed to empty out in the next few days. I couldn't blame them.. who would want to be in a school where a murder had taken place? Strangely, though, most parents were more upset at the embarassment of having a son who went to a school that now had an infamous reputation than the safety of their progeny. Most students were just glad to be free from finals, which would have been soon-approaching.
Tommy and Jamie were not doing too well, though. Their parents had come to pick them up as well. "But dad," I could hear Tommy arguing, "I'm fine. I'm safe. I'm not in any danger here!"
"Son, you need to be with your family in this time of sorrow. There may be more of these sexual predators out. Those freaks... damn fags!" Tommy's father was looking about campus suspiciously, lest a predator jump out at him.
"You don't even know what you're saying!" Tommy indignantly shouted.
"Oh, I've seen them, chief." his father said. "They're sick. Used to be one on my old team. We beat the shit out of him, though. How dare he look at us in the locker room! Heh... he never came back to practice.. and I don't think he really walked the same again."
"Dad," Tommy said, tears forming, "What if that freak were your son?" Tommy's father eyed him and then laughed.
"Don't worry, son. You're no nancy boy! Now get ready!"
"But..."
"Enough!" he yelled, getting rather annoyed. "Get your damn stuff down here.. NOW!"
Tommy and Jamie were holding each other tightly in our room, sobbing. I held Devon's hand tightly. I was lucky, I guess. No father was going to take me away from my lover. "What are we going to do?" they softly sobbed to each other.
"I'm so sorry, Tommy.. Jamie.. I wish I could make it easier.." I said.
"Well you can't!" replied Tommy, bitterly. I was taken aback by his sudden harshness.
"Tommy!" scolded Jamie. But he looked into his lover's eyes and was once again sobbing into Tommy's arms. I looked at the floor and sighed. Devon whispered something in my ear and I looked up again.
"We'll be outside if you need us." I said softly to Tommy and Jamie. With that, we left the room. After the door was shut, I said to Devon, "You're right, honey. They do need to be alone... This may be the last time.. they see each other." I was shocked at the horrifying finality that distance can put upon a person. The mere thought of being away from Devon for an extended amount of time made me feel queasy.
Devon put his hand over my forehead and noticed that I was clammy. "Are you all right, Ben?" he asked. I looked into his sweet but unseeing eyes and kissed him on the cheek. "I know it's horrible to say," I almost whispered, "but I'm glad I don't have to deal with my father anymore. I couldn't stand to be away from you! God, I love you, Devon!" Tears were forming in my eyes, and I clutched my love tightly.
"Ben," Devon gasped, "you're squeezing all the air out of me!" I let him go, and he breathed heavily. I laughed, a huge smile forming on my face. He was so cute! I leaned forward and kissed him genly on the lips. He smiled and asked, "What was that for?"
"For being you," I said, grinning. I heard a shocked gasp behind me. I turned around and saw Tommy's father.
"You're that... fag from TV, aren't you?" he exclaimed, stepping backwards. "And my.. my son's in... your room?" he said, half-asking, half-exclaiming. With that, the door swung open. Tommy appeared before his father, with teary red eyes, a pretty obvious hicky and a definite problem in the crotch area. Half-laughing, half-stumbling through his words, Tommy's father said, "Heh, got a girl in there, eh?" Tommy stepped out of the doorway and into the hall with Jamie taking his place. "Oh my god..."
Jamie stepped out of door and hugged Tommy tightly from behind. Tommy squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block his tears. He also seemed to sighing. I then noticed that Jamie was holding his lover as tightly as I had previously been holding mine. I had a feeling that Tommy was craving some serious Jamie-dick at the moment. Under normal circumstances, I would have giggled at the thought.
Tommy's father just stood there, petrified, it seemed. He didn't know what to do, what to think. He backed up into the wall, simply shocked. His son was all-American.. an all-American fag, it seemed. Soon we heard more footsteps. A short, pudgy blonde woman joined us in our hallway party. "Oh there you are, Jamie!" she said, smiling. She looked over to Tommy and smiled happily. "You didn't tell me! I'm always asking you to call.. and something big like this happens and you don't even breathe a hint of what's going on!"
Jamie looked at his mother and replied with what every teenage son would do in such a situation. "Mo-om!" he whined, exasperated. "Please don't.." he said, holding his hand out. His mother playfully smacked his hand.
"Oh stop! I'm glad you finally found a boyfriend. Why, you're so shy that we thought you'd NEVER get one!" She looked at Tommy proudly. "What's your name, son?"
"T-T-Tommy.." he stuttered, not quite sure of what to make of the changed situation. Jamie's mother made one of those Aww! sounds, and took a napkin out of her overly large purse. She wiped the tears away from Tommy's face. Tommy's eyes then went to his father.
"Oh! I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. She looked at Tommy's father, her smiling never dimming. "You must be Tommy's father! You must be quite proud of him! I must say, he can't find a better boyfriend than my son. He's very selective!" Then she looked at Tommy's hicky and tutted at her son. "Did you do that to that poor boy? What have I told you, Jamie? Always where the shirt can hide it! Ah, the young and their 'love bites!'"
"Actually mom," Jamie said, smiling finally, "he has a few lower, as well." He giggled and winked at her. Jamie's mom grinned and shook her head, laughing. With that, she hugged her son and then hugged Tommy as well. Tommy's father continued to stand against the wall in disbelief. "Mom, let me introduce you to our friends," Jamie said, nodding to us. "This is Ben.." he said, his hand motioning in my direction.
I went to shake her hand, but she would have none of that. She gave me a nice, big hug. "It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am. You have a wonderful son.. and he has a wonderful boyfriend." She grinned as if to say, I know. "And this is my lover, Devon." I whispered in her ear, "And just so you know, he is blind.. it's not a big deal, but you might as well know now." She went over to Devon and hugged him, too.
"You are all so wonderful! I'm so glad Jamie knows all of you." his mother cheerfully said. I looked over at Devon as he laid his head on my shoulder. "So you MUST have lunch with me! I was going to take Jamie straight home after this horrible fiasco, but I think I should get to know these wonderful people!" Looking at Tommy's father, she said, "You know, Tommy is quite lucky to have a caring and understanding father like you. A lot of fathers would say, my son a poof? Get out! But no, I can see that you are different. You love your son and rejoice, just as I do, that he has found someone that he cares about and is cared for in return. Of course, I'm just surmising by the dreamy looks in their eyes! Don't they make a cute couple!" she said, smiling.
Tommy's father stopped for a moment. For a moment, all the hate that he had been taught vanished, and he looked at his son as he was: a man in love with another man. And they did make a cute couple. "Well, I'm not sure what to say.. my son... just.. now.. told me." He sighed and let all that pent-up anger out. Now he knew why Tommy's teenage years had been so difficult.. why they had often been at each other's throats. He then thought about it.. really thought about it, and realized that he did love his son. And his son, finally smiling, looked happier than he had seen him in years. "Tommy, are you happy?"
Tommy took Jamie's hand in his, and looked his father in the eyes, tears again starting to form. "Dad, I don't think I've ever been this happy. Please.. don't take it away from me. I know it may be hard to hear, but... I love Jamie." With this, Tommy's arms went around Jamie's shoulders, trying to clutch him so he would never leave. "And don't worry, I'm not giving up football to be in the San Jose ballet," Tommy grinned, amidst his tears.
Tommy's father looked at Jamie's mother and said, "Let's go to lunch. I think we have a lot to talk about.. and I have a lot to learn.
"Wonderful!" she replied. Her happiness was infectious. I was so glad that Jamie had her for a mother. She looked at Devon and I and said, "You boys can come too, of course!"
I smiled and shook my head. "I think you four need to be alone. Anyway, Devon and I have plans." I winked at Tommy, and he grinned, all too knowing of our plans.
"Well, I guess you're right." she said, still smiling. "I hope to see you boys soon! Shall we?" she said, looking at her company. The odd group, like Dorothy and her three companians, walked off to lunch.
I turned to Devon and grinned. I kissed him, and nibbled on his tongue, teasing him. "I believe we have a riding lesson scheduled. Next stop: my lap."
Devon smiled from ear to ear. He whispered into my ear, "It's been twitching all day, hungry for you." With that, he licked my ear, and I moaned loudly. I looked at him with a horribly wicked smirk. "That's to get the blood flowing down so you get nice and stiff." He needn't have wasted the energy, though. I was already halfway there. I looked down again. Strike the last comment. Halfway was long gone. Distant memories.
Devon was going through his keys, finding the correct one to unlock our door. I stepped behind him, pressing my full, but clothed, length against his sweet ass. He sighed and pressed harder back against me. My hands joined at his stomach, going south. I said into his ear, "You had better find that key quickly, or I'll have to mount you out here in the hallway."
"You wouldn't!" he hissed, finding the key. "Not that I don't want to... but not in the hallway.. too cold!" The door clicked open and we ran inside. We rushed to his bedroom and slammed the door shut, too horny to be subtle. He ran and jumped onto the bed, wildly tearing off his clothes as I locked the door. He was amazing.. he had managed to strip naked in a matter of seconds. Not to be outdone, I worked to beat or equal his new record. After I was stripped, I looked at my beautiful lover and thanked the heavens for giving me such a wonderful gift. And his throbbing penis on top of red pubic hair was such a wonderful view. I sighed at the sight of a work of art.
Mister Rembrandt was getting a bit antsy out of his panties, though. "What the hell are you doing, translating War and Peace?! Get over here!" he lustily yelled. I grinned and jumped on top of him. His legs went around me like a vice, locking me in his embrace (as if I'd want to leave!). Our lips instantly found the other's lips, feeding the thirst that they so desperately needed quenched. Our tongues danced with each other in a frenzy that cannot be accurately described. In our almost animalistic passion, we started to roll on the bed. I'm sure it would be quite amusing to watch. One could even make a joke about it.. What's black then red then black then red then black...
We stopped rolling for a moment. I felt something plastic run against my skin. Since our rolling had ended with Devon on top, he arched his back, and put a cool gel on my throbbing penis. I then saw that Devon had somehow managed to grab the Astroglide. He then put a liberal amount inside of himself. He kissed me and said, "I want to feel you throbbing inside of me." I looked up at him with pure love in my eyes. He sat up for a moment and I spread his ass and he sat down on me.
He whimpered as the tip of my penis entered his tight sphincter. He sat there for a moment, gained his courage and took more of me into him. A moment later, my pubic hair was brushing against his sweet ass. "Kiss me." I whispered. He moaned in response. He repositioned his legs so that he had his legs folded, but still sitting on me comfortably. I sat myself up and we kissed. I thrust myself into him, and I felt him gasp, mid-kiss.
"Right.. there..." he moaned. We kissed passionately again, our tongues entering each others' mouths freely. Devon's arms wrapped around me, pulling us so close together that air could not pass through our touching chests. Devon broke the kiss again, panting, "Fuck me.. please." We then returned to our frenzied kisses. I decided to fill his need as best I could. My hand went down to his sweet, smooth ass and squeezed, then began to push it up and down, in a rhythm, as my hips countered that rhythm.
I didn't know how much longer I could last. He was squeezing me, driving me insane with pleasure each time he sat down again on me. "I don't think I can last much longer.." I panted. This made Devon speed up, so my thrusts followed suit. His ass was milking me, driving me mad with waves of pleasure. I could feel the heat radiating from his body as we made love. My thrusts became even more frenzied, just short of violent, and then I felt his ass clamp down on me like a vice. Devon almost screamed in pleasure, soon followed by shots of his hot cum spurting on our combined chests. This was almost too much.. I didn't think I could take much more of this... I thrust into him like a wild animal, and a moment later, I shoved myself to the hilt inside of him. I gasped and moaned Devon's name as my semen shot out of me like a bullet. Devon moaned again, as he felt my sticky mess coat his insides. His lips clamped on me and we lay down in bed, not moving a muscle. I was still inside him, and that's where I was happy to stay. "I love you, Devon." I said.
"I love you, too." he replied as we drifted off to sleep.
Part XVII.
Months had passed since the incident. Of course, we had the interview with the police, and the trial and all. I'd rather not relive it. Don't gay men have enough drama in their lives? I have no inclination to recall it. Anyway, Devon and I finished our business as Glenville Shaw Academy, and then moved into our new "summer home," as it was humbly named. Mr. Garley.. I mean Jack, had hinted that this piece of real estate was the equivalent of section eight housing. When we arrived, I looked up and saw a beachfront condominium that would make any yuppie drool in envy. I shall retire and let Devon describe the events that followed.
****************************
(As told by Devon)
After that whole
mess back at GSA, my father and I thought it best to retire to our Hawaii summer
cottage for the remainder of the semester. My father had also gotten word of
some new experimental medical technique in the area that could be of interest
to me. I was decidedly unimpressed on that point, as I had heard of such things
before. Dare I say, "fly by night?"
Anyway, this was one of my father's smaller homes. Ben amused us all when we
arrived. He seemed to stutter in amazement. It was adorable. Of course, I couldn't
do anything lewd in front of my father to show my amusement. Well, not too
lewd. My father, being the experienced man he was, would be very tolerant. However,
let us not press things beyond their breaking point. The welfare of Ben and
I was currently entirely leaning upon my father's graces, and I am not one to
push things beyond their merit.. not at home, at least. Of course my Irish temper
does get in the way at times. But that is beside the point!
Our condo was a three bedroom establishment, which was very convenient for everyone,
considering Lara could not be told to take a vacation, and my father insisted
on staying with me for a bit. And Ben and I.. we needed a room with very thick
walls. My goodness, when that boy gets the urge, he can bring me to the point
of screaming. The last thing we would need was to have the police arrive at
the door, investigating abuse. Ben is free to abuse me if that is abuse! He
knew just where to hit me, too.. I must cool myself now.
Anyway, we arrived at our modest condominium in Hawaii. Ben and I raced into
the bedroom for a celebratory kiss. I don't think Ben handled the endless plane
ride very well. I believe they played some horrible movie on the way over. I
believe the title of the film was Batman and Robin, which Ben related
was one of the worst films in cinematic history, along with Plan 9 From Outer
Space and Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.
Our kiss apparently went beyond either of our expectations, for the next thing
I knew, my father tapped me on the shoulder. "I would ask you two to get
a room," he said teasingly, "but as you seem to have one already,
I'd prefer that you hold off your joined-hip activities until later in the evening,
as we have a beach to walk on!"
Ben gave me a finalizing peck on the lips, and gripped my hand as we walked
out onto the beach. I cannot describe the scene's view, but I must tell you
that the air never felt more refreshing or saltier, and the sand never more
inviting, gently accepting your foot and with a mixture of seawater pulling
you down a few inches, than that walk was that evening. The birds cawed
gently in the distance as Ben's hand held mine proudly. We were one and stubbornly
refused to be parted. Not again. Ben would allow me no harm, and I felt the
same towards him. We were one soul molded together, a yin and a yang at
peace.
As we continued on the beach, we reached a populated area. I heard many
girls coo, "Aww!" However, I stopped Ben at one point. I
felt something dark coming upon us. Ben spinned around as I heard an angry voice
taunt, "Oh, we got some fuckin' faggots on our beach. Well, we'll
just have to show them who this belongs to." Apparently, my father
had travelled beyond us on our walk. However, I soon heard another set
of feet arrive by us. It was a beach patrol officer.
"Welcome back to Hawaii, Mr. Garley. Are these gentlemen causing problems?"
Of course. Bashers, like wolves, always travel in packs. The bashers took quick
flight, it seems. "Well, they're gone. Sorry about that." With that,
the cop left. Money brings many benefits, it seems.
"Let's get moving," Ben said. I felt no reason to argue his all too logical point. We soon joined my father. He casually asked where we went. "Somewhere we wish not to return," Ben retorted. I squeezed his hand and grinned as I acquiesced his statement. After this, Ben and father whispered something together in hushed tones. They told me to stay where I was as they had their private discourse. Ben soon returned by my side with mixed emotions. I asked him what was wrong, but he shrugged it off. I was confident that I would find out their private words soon enough. Even so, I was concerned.
Just then, my bones almost jumped out of my body. "Boo!" a hushed voice said, startling Ben and I. I gasped like some maid in a melodrama. I clutched Ben tightly, but he was shaking with laughter. The bastard.
"Hi Lara," Ben said, still laughing at my condition.
"Hey, boy! Looks like I got Big Red all scared. Poor baby," she cried if mock-sympathy as she squeezed my cheek, adding insult to injury.
"I knew it was you," I smugly retorted, trying to retrieve some of my lost honor.
" 'Course you did, son," she said. I could hear her voice smiling, though I couldn't see her lips. "We all know how courageous you are. Today's your off-day, I guess." I said and shook my head. Typical Lara. "But you're still my little Irish Pastry!" I growled in response.
"I'm really mostly British, thank you very much," I then added, trying to sound upset with her.
"Whatever. You're still a pastry. Even if it IS sour dough," she laughed. I retorted with a sigh and then an 'Honestly!' We soon found ourselves heading back home. "Well there's the limo," Lara blurted out.
"Yes, the IV's are no longer necessary, so we decided to finally offer some much-needed comfort." my father muttered to Lara and Ben. As if I couldn't hear everything! Or so I pompously thought at that particular moment. "Well my dears," father said as he turned to my love and I, "I must depart to finish up some details here. Hold the so-called fort while I am gone," he stated as a question, but meant as a command.
I went over to my father and hugged him. "Have a good trip, Dad," I said. I soon lifted my head and added, "but take a shower first! Damn you stink! And yes, get a bunch of lube. I don't want to run out," I teasingly said, to which Ben replied, 'Oh please!' Father laughed as we entered the house. Lara quietly shut the door and scooted us upstairs.
I pulled Ben into our bedroom and wrapped myself around him. "We're alone.. finally," I saliciously uttered. I turned and rubbed my very horny arse over his pubic region. He was semi-hard, which was unusual. He was usually full up and ready to give me a good pounding by this point. I turned around again and kissed him gently on the lips. "You okay, baby?" I inquired.
Silence. Then after a seemingly endless pause, he drawled out, "Yes, dear. I'm just not in the mood right now." Normally, this wouldn't have been an issue. But my heart skipped a beat. Not in the mood? Did I do something wrong? Did he finally see how hopelessly ugly I am? What am I to do? All alone... "Maybe later, ok," he said kissing me gently and leading me to bed, and laying me down under the covers. "I'll be back later. You try and get some sleep," he commanded. He sometimes reminded me that as equal as we were, he was the dominant party. And that was the way I liked it. If he wanted to be inside me all day, I'd just want a special chair made. Hmm.. that'd be an interesting way to conduct a meeting! 'Yes, the sto - ahhhhck has.. err.. risen,' I could just imagine him moaning amidst his stockholder's get-together as I bounced up and down on his edible ticker. I sighed to myself. So much for my fantasy. I crossed my arms in annoyance. Something odd was going on. I wanted to know what. I tried to lay back and relax, but it was useless. Well, here's something new I haven't tried for a while, I though. With that, I decided to relieve my own personal stresses.
Part XVIII.
(as told by Devon)
I awoke with a start. I was alone. Of course. Figures, the way things have been progressing. I blindly tapped the alarm clock next to the bed. (What other way could I do it?) EIGHT TWENTY-SEVEN a mechanical voice responded. I grimaced. Ben should have been back by now. I got out of bed and went into the closet and grabbed some clothes. Father had cleverly bought all clothes that would match, no matter the combination. Basically all blue jeans and any matching shirt. I mindlessly dressed myself and walked outside of .. our .. room. I was still getting used to that.
I walked down the hallway until - OOF! - I bumped into someone. My hands came in contact with some kind of name tag. Whomever my unlucky victim was was apparently displeased at our encounter, as I was roughly shoved aside. "Watch where you're going. You're walking around like a blind freak," he half-muttered to himself as he stormed off. My face winced in pain. I can't help it, ok?! I inched a little bit further and heard the sounds of soft snoring in a nearby room. I turned around and stormed back to my room. So being with me isn't good enough for you, eh Ben? Well fuck you!
****************************
I stirred in my sleep to him still there on the bed, helpless. I know that this isn't my fault, but I can't help but feel somewhat guilty. Why did this have to happen to him? He wasn't to blame for all this. No wonder he was so angry.. all that had happened to him... But perhaps for better or for worse, he wouldn't hurt as much.. of course he had a different and all too real pain now. I put my hand on his and squeezed my assurance that things will be okay. His eyes fluttered in and out of consciousness, and he laid his head against my arm, kissing it. I smiled faintly at him.
****************************
(As told by Devon)
I couldn't sleep. I was furious. HOW DARE HE! He hated me... because I'm a freak. I'm not worthy of his love... and he's pulling away from me. Pushing me into a bottomless pit of despair. I wish I were dead! I wish I had died with mother. Then I wouldn't hurt. I wouldn't have to go through with all of this. I began to cry, which I hate. Just another sign of weakness. The whole world versus me, and I was losing.
****************************
Around 10:30, Jack returned. I patted him on his sleeping head and walked out of the room. I could have sworn that he whispered, "I love you," as I left, but I could be mistaken. A nurse rushed by me as I left the room. A doctor and three nurses. Jack always had every possible problem covered, I guess.
After exiting his temporary room, I met Lara sitting at the dining room table, deep in thought. She looked up at me as I stood behind her, and smiled. "Kinda funny, ain't it?" she said, dropping her normal eloquence. My eyebrows arched in question. "How things all turn out. Last thing I 'spected, ya know? And the worst thing is.. I was just glad it wasn't our boy." Lara wiped a tear from her eye, and mocked the thinker's pose. "I guess that's just downright awful. But that's how I feel. I'm glad it isn't our boy. He's got enough problems. And this is his first love.."
"It will be his only love," I said, staring out the windows and into the clear-blue ocean.
Lara smiled and patted my hand, which was clutched behind the chair at which she sat. "You got your whole life ahead of you. How can you be so sure?"
"I have chosen him, and this will make us closer."
"But which him have you chosen?" Lara asked, looking up at my face, ever focused to the ocean.
"If you don't know the answer to that," I replied slowly, "then you are a fool."
****************************
(As told by Devon)
I could hear my father's voice in the hallway. He sounded distracted. Something was going on here.. a plot! And I was going to get to the bottom of it. I slammed open my door and called out loudly and clearly, "Father, please come here."
"In a minute, son," he replied.
"No!" I yelled. "NOW!"
"God damn it Devon," he briskly said, entering the room, "I do have other things to attend to! Stop acting like a baby! All right, I'm here. What's the problem?"
"What in bloody hell is going on here? Who are these people in our home? And why does Ben hate me now?"
"Calm down, child," he replied. Child indeed! "Ben doesn't hate y-"
"Then why the fuck is he not here, with me?"
"Devon, I am a very liberal father. But that language is not to be tolerated when addressing me!"
"Fuck you and fuck you all!" I screamed, running past him and outside.
"Devon," he called out to me in a very stoic manner. "Bah. Go have your drama. I have enough to deal with." Bastard! He hates me, just like everyone else! Rejected. As always, rejected, ignored. Loathed. So there I was in the sand. I fell down in the sand, sobbing. Where to go? What to do? Honestly, what could I do, a blind freak like me?
Suddenly, my ears perked. I could hear doors slamming shut. People were talking, sharing medical terms. A change in shifts, as I later discovered. Then I heard Ben's voice. Something about "taking good care of him" and "he's still quite out of it."
So what has he been doing? I stood up, brushing the sand off, and reentered the house. I heard Ben's footsteps in the distance. Knowing this house's layout from previous vacations, I ducked in a corridor. I heard Ben walking towards the guest room, where he had slept last night. I listened hard and heard no other footsteps, so I sneaked into the laundry room, which had a ventilation shaft above it, which also connected to a shaft just about the guest room bed.
****************************
I entered Anthony's room to see the nurses injecting him with some drug. "He's actually doing quite well. He's going to wake soon, I think. This will ease his pain. I believe that we can begin muscular therapy in as little as three weeks. Oh, his eyelids are batting.. he's waking up."
"Oh Ben," he said waking, his arms stretching towards me, "you're here. I dreamed of you, saving me. Saving me from so many wrong things." He grasped my arm. "Come here." I embraced him and kissed him on the cheek.
"Amazing," the doctor said, shaking his head. "He is stronger than I thought."
"Well, we did some exercises last night. We did leg stretches, actually. His legs are doing quite well. He can't exactly walk, but the muscles were worked on a bit."
"Wonderful. Do some more later. It's doing him a world of good." With that they left us alone. Anthony rubbed his head against my hand. I smiled down at him as he kissed my arm. To further demonstrate his elasticity, Anthony grabbed his legs and stretched them until his knees were hitting his shoulderblades. Simply amazing, I mused. Anthony grinned as I nodded at my pride in his health progress. He shook his little butt, which was hanging in the air.
"See," he said, "I stretched it out just for you. When are we going to have our exercises?"
"Anthony.." I said laughing, "Are you trying to seduce me? This ain't The Graduate, you know!"
"Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.." he sang softly. I looked down at him, smiling, and brushing my finger through his hair.
"I won't leave your side this time. Not like last time."
"I trust you, baby. You wouldn't hurt me," he said as he looked at me with pure adoration.
"Let's get some sleep now, shall we?" I said, closing the blinds and turning off his light.
"Could you bring that brown bag over?" he asked, and I acquiesced. "Thanks, babe." And he kissed my hand. He was also about to suck on my fingers, but I shook my finger at him. No, no, no.
"I won't leave you," I repeated, and then whispered in his ear, "but I'm not going to fuck you."
His face suddenly pouted, and I had to smile down at him. "Please.. " He whispered. I shook my head no, and walked out the door, silently. As I left, I heard the sound of paper being crumpled. He was opening and removing whatever was in the brown bag.
Part XIX.
(as told by Devon)
He won't leave him? Oh, that's nice. Comforting to know that my boyfriend won't leave the whiny little brat. So this is why he won't sleep with me at night. He prefers bratty Italians. That's nice. I closed my eyes in pain, trying to fight the inevitable tears from dripping down my already stained face. I ran my fingers through my hair trying to think clearly of the situation. But I couldn't. It just wasn't fair! I had perfection... and then he left me.. for an Italian. Why me? Where had I gone wrong? But then again, I'm not worthy.
I was awoken from my reverie by a rustling sound. I held my breath and listened. I could here silent murmuring, and then a very clear squirting sound. That couldn't be.. but any gay man knows that sound too well.. lubricant being squeezed from a bottle.
This was too much. I left the laundry room, and sensing no one around, walked to the guest room. The door was slightly ajar. With utmost care, I opened the door and shut it. Sliding on the carpet (which I regretted later!), I hid in a corner near the closet. Then I silently opened the closet door and hid inside, listening to more.
Anthony moaned in pleasure. "Yes Ben," he moaned, "I've been stretching my legs.. just for you! Now you can enter me.. yes, fuck the shit out of me!" I silently began to sob. "God damn, it's huge! The perfect size for my well-used ass. And now I want you to use it, baby. Yes, use me like I'm you're whore. I've wanted it so long. Even the first day when I was scared to be nice. I was scared you'd hurt me. Well now I want you to hurt me! I want you to pound away at my ass. I want you to hurt me good!" This was followed by a loud slap. Ben was spanking him? This was unlike him, even when he WAS randy!
****************************
Devon was nowhere to be found. I couldn't figure it out. Perhaps he and Lara had gone off somewhere... No, her car was in the garage. This didn't make sense. I looked into her room. Asleep, of course. What better thing to do when being lulled by the gentle song of the sea? Jack was gone, though. He seemed be constantly away on business. Poor guy. Money certainly has its faults. Being away from Devon for several days would probably drive me crazy. To not be able to touch him, to kiss him, to taste him, to be ins.. Lord, where was that boy?! I wish I hadn't worried him so last night. I needed my lover, and in a not-quite puritan way!
****************************
(as told by Devon)
The spanking had gone on and on. It was getting rather trite, if you ask me. Then I heard Anthony moan. "Oh yes, stick your fingers in me. Get me ready for your big hard cock. Oh, if only.. Yes" How could Ben do this to me? What had I done? "Mmm, now for the real thing baby.. I'm ready for it! God.." I could hear the lubricant squishing around as Anthony was fucked. I could tell he was having the time of his life. That should have been me screaming and moaning, not him! It felt like hours that this was going on, but it was probably more like 15 minutes. I began to think that even if I were invited as a third party, I wouldn't mind Ben doing this, as long as we continued to be together. He promised me that he'd love me forever.. and now he'd broken the promise. But for some reason I was no longer angry with him.. I just wanted him back. Please Ben, all I want is to be loved. Please.
****************************
I was getting desperate. I missed him.. And I had rejected him last night, which was the last thing that he needs. Where was my Devon? Lord, I'm pathetic, I thought. I'm acting like a love-sick... well, high schooler. Which I would only be for one more year. I turned and saw that the laundry room open. I walked to the closet that held the washer and dryer, and was about to shut it when I heard:
"OH BEN! FUCK ME HARDER!"
What the hell?! I thought. Then I looked up and saw the ventilator shaft which must have connected with Anthony's room. What if Devon had been in here... Oh no! From what he had heard of their conversation.. It wouldn't have been pretty. I briskly walked to Anthony's room and pushed the ajar door open. The sight before me shocked me. I had never imagined that Anthony would do that!
Well he was right, I'll have to admit. He had stretched out. He was facing away from the door, on all fours, completely naked. He was pulling a long, thick, black dildo in and out of his anus as he masturbated. It was squishing loudly, covered with lubricant. I looked to the closet on the other side of the room. Inside the barely closed door was Devon. He must have thought that Anthony and I.. Oh nasty!
"Mmmph.. keep it up baby.. almost there." I looked at Anthony with disgust. At that moment, Anthony's eyes met mine. He grinned and flipped on his back. He lifted his legs high in the air and pushed the dildo all the way in. "Oh god," he moaned, losing eye contact, "here it comes! Yes! Just for you Ben.. fuck my ass.. anytime. Oh yes, you're coming in my ass right now. Leave your little boyfriend for me.. Yes you will? YES!" He screamed, and masturbating furiously, exploded all over his belly. Devon, apparently unable to take it anymore, jumped up and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
"So he was listening to you fuck me," Anthony hissed. "He's gone. He'll never return. So pull it out and stuff me with your meat! NOW!" I glared at him with utmost anger.
"You can never have me. I'll arrange for your plane tickets back to spend time with your dad and stepmom." I nodded my head to him, a farewell, and opened and shut the door. I heard him sobbing on the other side of the door, but couldn't return. He would manipulate me until he got his way.
With lowered head, I walked toward our room, and knocked on the door.
****************************
(as told by Devon)
So the bastard had returned. Caught in the act, and he thought he could get away with it. How dare he do this to me? But I needed him.. I had to forgive him, but I couldn't forgive him either. What to do? Ben tried opening the door when I didn't respond, but found it locked.
"Baby, can I come in?" he pleaded. Oh, like I was going to fall for that! But I so wanted to hold him.. yet I couldn't. No, he had to pay for what he had done to me. He broke his promise to love me forever. "Devon, this is a huge misunderstanding. I didn't sleep with him!"
"Of course not," I coldly responded, "You only fucked him."
A tearful voice responded: "I most certainly did not! You're the one I love, Devon. You and only you!" I heard footsteps approach the door. "What the fuck do you want? Go back to your room. You need your rest."
"Come on darling," Anthony's sinister voice replied. "You're mine now. That blind thing wouldn't want you back anyway. You just cheated on it. It heard it all.." Then I heard a loud slap, and a gasp of surprise.
****************************
So this was his plan. To discredit me. "He's no freak!" I yelled at him. "He's my lover. And I'm his lover. You can never have me. It may have sounded like we were having sex, but a dildo is a pale substitute for a human being. Devon doesn't need a piece of rubber. He's got me. Which you will never have." Anthony was still reacting from the quality slap I delivered to his insidious face. "By the way, my boy is definitely a male. And certainly more human than you will ever be. Go back to your room, you little shit."
Just then Lara popped out of her room. "What the hell are you boys do-- why are you out of your room? Jack goes to all this trouble to save your skinny white ass and here you are.." Then she examined the semen dripping down his stomach. She also looked down at his black dildo, which was clutched in his hand. "Boy, that's just nasty! Keep your toys to yourself! Now git into your room!" She tried to open the door to our room, but found it locked. "Devon, get your lily white Irish ass over here and open this door. We all need a li'l talk, it seems."
****************************
(as told by Devon)
So we had our little talk. What a fool I felt like. Human, like everyone else, as Lara said. But I was so ashamed of myself. I can't believe that I even doubted Ben for a moment. I know deep down in my heart that he loves me, that he is a part of me. What's the old philosopher's word for it? Soul mates, yes. I suppose that I was so unsure of myself that I couldn't trust another... I am just fucked up in the head.
Ben was sobbing, holding me close. "I will never leave you," he said, his face buried in my hair. I knew for certain that he was right. "I never meant to hurt you," he continued. "I am so sorry. I just felt.. responsible.. for what happened to Anthony. That I could have somehow prevented it from happening."
"Ben," I said lifting my head and kissing him gently on lips, "It's not your fault. Nothing could have prevented. And if it did, we wouldn't be here right now, savoring this moment. We wouldn't have each other. And I don't want to imagine my life without you." I embraced him and held tightly.
"But why did someone have to die for this to happen? That was not supposed to happen. And no matter how horrible Dan was, I may have been able to help him.. to fix him," he replied, tearfully.
"Fuck the if's. You're here with me. Let's cherish each moment. Let's live in each moment of life and of love. When we live in each moment, we die and we live. And in the end, I think we'll realize that it was worth it. No matter how many hills and valleys we stumble through, we will be together each step of the way. Your hand in mine.. and my hand in yours." Lara then politely excused herself and left. "I love you so much, Ben. I want to be with you always. And I'm sorry I'm such a fuck-up-" Ben started to interrupt with a no, but I stopped him. "Hold on. Let me finish, baby. I'm going to make mistakes, and so are you. We'll have our fights and our arguments, but I think we can stick through it all. Because I love you, and I know that you share that. I am yours."
"Oh Devon," Ben said, embracing me tightly. "You're right. I love you. It's not a statement, or even a promises. Promises are broken. Statements are falsified. My love is a state of being; one that never dies." We kissed passionately, our tongues dancing wildly in each other's mouths. I could feel Ben lengthening. I grinned, forming an idea.
"Let's go outside, baby," I whispered in his ear. He lifted me up effortlessly, and held my hand as we walked out onto the beach.
****************************
The day's heat had lessened as we stepped on the cool sand. I looked up and saw a full moon above us. Mars must have been in alignment, for I saw a red coloring to our lunar light. It was a calming, loving feeling I felt spread throughout my body. Mars, the god of war be damned! I felt Venus' fingers creeping into my heart. I looked down at my lover's free hand holding a blanket. Good idea, I mused. Sand up one's shorts is never quite comforting. I looked around to see the beach deserted. Strange, I thought. But then again, we were on private property. Our earlier incident was caused by walking off our land and onto the public beach.. Our. Hmm, I'm even beginning to think that this is all mine. How strange.
"Help me lay the blanket down, love," Devon said, breaking my thoughts. I smiled down at my man and complied. We sat down on the blanket, enjoying the gentle night breeze wave through our hair. Our arms were around each others' shoulders. I closed my eyes, listening to the surf's gentle song. My hand dropped to my lap, as I leaned back slightly, eyes still closed, enjoying the gentle breeze and song of the surf. I felt Devon stand up, yet stayed still. These quiet moments were to become the moments I treasured the most.
I sighed contentedly and laid down on the blanket. A moment later, my shorts had been plundered! I sat up with a gasp to see a very naked and erect redhead jump on my lap. I looked at him and got an instant erection. Damn, was he sexy. Hmm.. make-up sex.. supposedly the best kind. I grinned to myself as I grabbed the back of his head and pulled his lips down to meet mine. We embraced each other and began to roll off the blanket. I felt my butt hit the cool sand. "Umm, honey," I said hesitantly, "perhaps we should take this inside."
He smiled and said, "Oh, you don't like sandy dick?"
I grinned, touching his pubic hairs and said, "Nope, only copper for me!"
He laughed, and we got up and walked nude into our room.
****************************
(as told by Devon)
Ben teasingly pushed onto the bed. I lay down on my stomach, expectantly. I felt his fingers run up my soft, white skin. He stopped when he reached my butt and gently squeezed it, spreading my cheeks apart. "Oh my god," he said breathily, "you are so gorgeous. Good enough to eat."
I propped myself up on my knees, sticking my butt up and out. "Then feast away, good sir!" I teasingly said. He didn't respond, so I was about lay down, when I felt his hot breath hit my anus. I shivered in excitement, along with the rest of my body. He began to kiss my cheeks gently, oh so gently. After several silent moments, Ben spread my ass open and dove in, face first. I yelped in surprise and pleasure. His tongue went around and then finally inside of me. I was panting like a crazed animal. "Oh my god!" I screamed, "suck my ass! Yes, stick your tongue deep in there! Oh yes.. deeper! Harder! OH MY GOD!!!!!"
****************************
Call it a hunch, but I think he enjoyed it. It was something I never thought I'd do, but this was Devon. Nothing was wrong or dirty with him. And he tasted sweet all over-- even here. Not exactly honey, but it was wonderful. I could feel his anus clamping on my tongue and then releasing. Devon then got up and repositioned himself. He had me lay down and then sat on my face, giving me free access to his wonderful assjuices. Sorry to sound crude, but it was wonderful. He leaned forward and began to suck me as I rimmed his hot hole. He seemed to be pushing his ass into my face, which I thoroughly enjoyed. But he suddenly pulled off. "Oh my.. I can't take it.. please.. make love to me right now before I explode!"
Who was I to deny him? Devon got on all fours again, and mounted him. It seems our liquid exchange was enough lubricant. Of course, Devon had been leaking copious amounts of fluid when I was rimming him. No matter. I pushed into him, popping easily into place. Devon screamed in pleasure. "Yes! Oh Ben, I've needed this so bad!"
For the next four hours, we made love. It was as if we were given some magical power that night, allowing us to have three orgasms.
****************************
(as told by Devon)
Ben just kept filling me and filling me. It was a truly wonderous feeling. And I didn't feel tired in the slightest. The third time was the last, though. He pulled out of me, much to my chagrin, and collapsed on the bed. But I couldn't move. I felt numb.. I had never felt so good in my life. Goodness, I was shaking all over. A good shaking, mind you. I just needed to get used to this. My man was a good man, and knew how to please me, to fill me. I finally lay down next to him, kissing him on the cheek. "I love you, Ben. Now and always."
Part XX.
~*~ Eleven Years Later ~*~
(As told by Devon)The old ugly P.T. Cruiser that Dad let us borrow was whining as we drove over the highway to the reunion. Ben was always glad to let me drive. He did it in the bedroom, and if I wanted to take the reigns on the road and let his old fart ass sleep, that was fine with him. Ever since my eye operation, I was glad to do anything visual. Yes, sight. I finally understood the glory of our Hawaiian condo. It's on the island of Kawaii, by the way. Simply gorgeous sea. But no sight was more beautiful than seeing Ben's adoring face for the first time leaning over me as my eyes fluttered open. Tears had dripped profusively down my face. I couldn't help it.
My cell phone rang. Not wanting to wake my sweet (and old - ha!) lover, I pressed the SEND button. "Dr. Garley speaking, how may I help you?"
"They gave a doctorate to YOU?" an incredulous voice called. It was, of course, Tommy.
"Tommy! Good grief, how long has it been, you old nelly?"
"Uh oh, here comes the Irish temper," he teased. I laughed at his pathetic comment. "So you ARE coming to the reunion, right? I won't be the only princess there, eh?"
"God damn boy, you've been in Canada too long!" I retorted. "Of course I am. And so is the ancient 28-year old. I have a good four months left before I start decomposing before your eyes."
"Good. Ben's there.. I just wish.." Tommy broke off. "I wish he was here with us, too, ya' know?" Tommy was still very emotional over Jamie's death. Jamie had slept with the wrong people before meeting Tommy. He had become HIV+. That fate could have easily fallen onto Ben or I.. luckily, we were virgins when we met, and have remained 100% faithful to each other. Few can say that of anyone. Jamie died just six months ago. Tommy was with him until the last. He held his hand as he slipped away. His last words were: Tommy, I will always love you. But continue on. Life's not over; in fact, it has just begun. Never forget me, but don't dwell on me. I love you. Funny, how things begin and end so quickly. You never know if one moment will last into the next.
Ben yawned rudely, eyes fluttering and held onto my hand. "Hey sweetie," he said lovingly, "how are you doing?"
"I'm talking to this football fairy. Her wings are about to fall off," I replied. BITCH! was replied over the phone.
"Hi Tommy," Ben said sleepily.
"HI BEN!" he screamed over the phone.
"Girl," I exclaimed, "Those were my ears! Here, let me put you on speakerphone." I pushed a button, and we could hear Tommy's voice in stereo throughout the car.
"Ben, how ya doin', man?" Tommy asked happily.
"Hey, babe. We're doing ok. Ben just opened another office. Training some young pup. Probably out to get some young dick," Ben teased. "But seriously, things are going well. But I'm doing ok, too. With Jack's money, we bought out my father's company. Ah, the look on his face was priceless. It was truly terrible when he quit for moral obligations."
"But was it worth it, dude?" Tommy asked, concerned. He still had his nineties slang.
"Some people are worth the effort. Some aren't," I responded. "In his case, he wasn't. Which is a shame. A damn shame."
"Anyway," I said, breaking what had been prolonged silence, "we should meet old Glenville Shaw in about fifteen minutes." I suddenly turned to see a truck pickup honking loudly behind us. It was Tommy. "You know what they say. You can take the hillbilly out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the hillbilly!" I saw Tommy flick me off in the rear view mirror.
"Oh, I wish I was driving one of them sexy P.T.'s," Tommy retorted, with a full southern accent. "They only died as fast as they went out. Gotta love them novelties!"
"Ah, but at least we're not following the latest fashion trend- the 80s. Lawd have mercy!"
"Bitch," Tommy retorted.
Ben chimed in: "I'm sure Tommy looks hot as hell in tight pants." I gave him a dirty look. "Honey, your ass is nice, trust me. But Tommy's got that ex-football star butt."
"Dude," Tommy said laughing, "shut up."
"Well how about we talk more when we actually ARRIVE?" Ben said, laughing. Tommy agreed, and I ended the phone call.
Thirteen minutes later, we reached our destination.
****************************
It was frightening arriving at the Academy again. So many memories. So many adventures. I had forgiven all those who had wronged me. It was silly not to. The green renaissance gates passed by us as we approached our ten year reunion. I was beginning to have second thoughts: did I really want to face all these people? Would they blame me for what had transpired? Would they become violent? Devon leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "Let's go, love. It's time." He squeezed my hand and unlocked the doors. We exited the car and locked it again. We followed fellow latecomers slowing entering our alma mater.
After we had registered, we sat down at a dinner table, lined with silk coverings. Those idiots! Imagine trying to clean this! A waiter walked up and took my order. I noticed that there were two empty seats. I turned to see Tommy running at us. He was grinning broadly. "Hi guys!" he yelled loudly. The dining room murmured at his rude entrance. Tommy had learned not to care what others thought of him, though. Jamie had taken him far. Tommy happily joined us.
"So who's the missing person?" I wondered aloud. The waiter sighed in annoyance; couldn't these irritating people get here on time? I turned my head to see... no, it couldn't be. He read his guest card and saw the number on our table. Tommy grimaced as he looked at the place card: Daniel Perry Vishosone. Dan sat down next to Tommy, head bowed. The waiter, glad that our table was finally filled, walked over to Tommy and Dan and took their respective orders.
Tommy decided to ignore Dan. "So what have you guys been up to?" he forced out. Then he looked at Devon's glasses. "Damn, Poindexter!" Devon smacked his arm.
"You've known about these. You should get yours checked as well," responded Devon. And Tommy did know about then. He, Jamie, Devon and I had vacationed at our old condo in Kawaii. Dan was wiping his eyes for some reason.
"D- Devon.. you got your eyes fixed?" It was the first time he had spoken in eleven years. To us, at least. "May I?" Dan's hand extended to Devon's face. He was about to flich, but stopped. Dan's forefinger ran under Devon's eyelid, over his nose, and under the other eyelid. He pulled his hand back. "Ben, you are right. He is beautiful. I'm so glad that you two are still together. And Thomas.. I'm glad-" Dan stopped. Jamie wasn't there. Dan looked up at Tom's eyes squinching shut, tears dropping from them.
"He died," Tommy responded quietly. "Six months ago. It's been.. difficult." Dan closed his eyes and began to wince. He moved his hand on top of Tommy's and kept it there.
"I'm so sorry," he said.
"Yeah, well life sucks, doesn't it?" Tommy angrily said through the tears. "We can't all go around shooting people because of our problems, now can we?" Dan sobbed in response. "I'm sure you had your reasons, Dan.. but why?" He finally made eye contact.
"Why. I wish I could answer you. I was so fucked up. I was so angry.. angry at the world for making me this way, angry at my father for hating what I didn't want to be but was.. I was just.. weak. And I was in love."
"You were?" Tommy asked, befuddled.
"Yeah, with a really great guy that I didn't deserve." Dan wiped his eyes. "Damn, I wish my sponsor was here now. Tommy, shit. I went through a lot. I was lucky.. they tried me as a minor, and held me until I was 21. Five years to grow up. And I needed it. Then I turned to drinking. God, was that a mistake. That lasted only four months, but it was enough to make me an alcoholic. But I joined AA.. and now I'm much better. My life is back together now. Five and a half years sober. I've been waiting for just one thing.. someone to love me."
"You're a guy tough guy to love, kiddo," Tommy responded, finally smiling.
"Not anymore. I'm a different person. Our other prisoner didn't last too well.."
"Mordrin," I said coldly.
"Yeah.. well, his mates found out he was a child molester.. and decided to molest him. He was raped almost to death.. and murdered in a later incident. The attackers were never found, though."
"Lord," I replied, "that's terrible."
"As terrible as what he was about to do to you?" Dan asked. "Anyway," he continued, wiping tears away, "I wish that there was some way that I could make up to all of you for everything that I have done. None of you deserved what I gave you. If you'd let me, I'd like to make it up to you in any way possible." He turned to Tommy and clutched his hand. "Especially you."
"I was the one, wasn't I?" Tommy said, the tears beginning to dry. "I was the one you loved."
"Yes," Daniel answered. "I know I can't replace Jamie.. No one can. But can we at least be friends?"
"We can be whatever comes.. but let it come naturally, and don't force it," Tommy replied.
Daniel smiled with tears dripping down his face again. He stood up and leant over Tommy's head, placing a kiss on his forehead. "I promise to be whatever you need. I've been without you for eleven years. I don't want another day to pass without you again."
Devon tapped Daniel on the shoulder and said, "My dear, you need someone to look at those eyes. They're far too swollen." Then he handed Dan a card. Dan grinned and pocketed it.
The evening progressed uneventfully. Those not worth our time avoided us. Those who remembered us joined and spoke.
As Devon and I prepared to leave, we overheard Tommy and Dan making plans to have coffee. Devon looked at me and smiled.
Just then, Dan began to laugh hysterically. Apparently, he loves irony. He must have read Devon's card.
|
GARLEY AND ASSOCIATES DR. DEVON
GARLEY, OPTOMETRIST In five
offices statewide! |
Devon and I smiled. We hoped that Tommy and Dan did have a future. They certainly
needed each other. I looked at my sweet redhead and hugged him tight. "I
love you, Devon," I said.
He smiled in return, kissing me passionately. "I love you too, babe. Let's go home and make love."
And that is exactly what we did.
t h e e n d .
Thank you for reading my story. I hope you enjoyed it. As always, feel free to e-mail me with any questions, comments or concerns you may have. I'd really like to know what you think!
David.